Marknetick Member Profile

...See more Its hard to know where to start. Does anyone else feel the same way? Its sometimes really hard to word it, and I never feel that I explain it very well. Ive not really ever tried to talk to anyone in this detail. Im still living with my parents, so Ive tried to talk about it a little with them, but they seem content in telling me to get out more, whether it be to hang out with friends more, or get more hours at work. Neither ever helps, but it especially doesnt help being told any of this. Sometimes I just want someone to listen, rather than point to straight-forward solutions like its nothing. I get my good days and my bad days. Its during my good days that I think Im myself, but on my bad days, I feel lonely, hopeless, useless, anxious and not cared for. I frequently have thoughts of death, and what scares me is how casually they come and go—like its a part of my everyday life now. I want my life to go somewhere, and Im making preparations for that to happen, but suicide feels almost like some kind of backup plan at this point, because I havent really got much of an opportunity to get to somewhere where I feel I can be proud of myself. I feel as though I can only go walk in circles or bash my head against a brick wall for so long. I know this is vague, and I apologize for the lack of clarity, but theres a word cap. Im 23 now, and I feel that time has run out to do things. That may sound ridiculous, given that Im still young, but there you go.

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