MattyIcee Member Profile

...See more Sorry in advance if this topic is frowned upon here. Just wanted to express my anxiety for my dating experiences that seem to get worse and worse. I think I'm just ranting my frustrations. I've never had a relationship longer than a month, and I've only had 2 at the start of my 20s. I don't know what to do anymore. I've lost hope and clearly I'm unattractive, awkward and not worth it for the couple girls I managed to get a first date with, which were god awful ones at that. One was so bad the girl knowingly walked past me without saying anything, sat down and was waiting to get the date over with. Clearly she saw my face and was disappointed. Another showed up 20 minutes late (probably on purpose) to avoid walking around a mall to get to know them a little, then settle in for a movie I offered to pay for. She shushed me during the commercials while the lights were on and I was so defeated I just sat there without saying anything for the rest of the movie. (I should have left both dates but my pathetic personality prevents me from having dignity). Both those dates I told the girl at the end I had a great time and wanted to try a second date. I'm actually pathetic. Now at 30 I'm trying to do this garbage all over again. I cant create a profile or send messages without massive anxiety and tears. I'm in the 5% of people worldwide who still have their v card, and keeping mine isn't by choice. I cant talk to my friends about it anymore because I'm the oldest and everyone else has been more successful in their dating lives. I can't think of a word other than pathetic that describes me more perfectly. Should I just give up at this point and save some people a horrible first date? People always tell me to just get out there and it'll happen but I cant go anywhere feeling like this.

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