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Maxneedssocks
1 265 M Embraced 2
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2025 Member sinceSeptember 7, 2024
Bio

I'm in my early twenties. I enjoy cartoons and fiction as well as art. ❤️‍🩹

Recent forum posts
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Relief
Trauma Support / by Maxneedssocks
Last post
 July 21st, 2025
...See more I feel so incredibly relieved after my latest appointment with a doctor/psychiatrist. After months of not being taken seriously he heard me out and told me what ive been experiencing is real, i am not being unreasonable and i deserve kindness and help. He agreed that i do have great signs of C-PTSD which i have been speculating for about a month or two now. It's been years of self hate, self harm, doom spirals and never ending hospital visits. Once i left his office i felt myself shake and cry – not because of an injustice or out of fear but out of relief.
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PTSD intrusive thoughts, what's y'all's experience
Anxiety Support / by Maxneedssocks
Last post
 July 15th, 2025
...See more My last post was deleted and idk if I have the energy to rewrite it all. TW: PTSD, intrusive thoughts, cannibalism, alcoholic parents, SA, etc. !!! This post is NOT to tell you this is a good behavior. I am simply telling my truth and how I feel and felt at the time. I have been romanticizing my own destruction since childhood and want to hear if others do the same. Is this a normal occuring thing? I have had unnatural and controversial thoughts since I was a child, My parents were alcoholics and I was SA'd multiple times as well as groomed. I have had abandonment issues and fantasized about kidnapping and keeping people around in my basement so they wouldn't leave me. I thought this was a normal and quirky thing and felt excited at the thought. I have normalized the fight or flight response and my Brain automatically assumes that's something to be excited about - again, romanticizing the negative behavior. So, when the early signs of fight or flight kicks in I can get flushed or such. I feel such a strong need to be seen for me. I feel a strong need to be ripped apart, ripped open to be seen. As a teen I acted dangerously and reached out to older men on a dating app, asking them to kidnap/tie me up and rip me apart. I asked around 10 people and all of them agreed to do it. Luckily, I told my care givers at the time and I ended up without a phone for a while. Is this a "normal" response to trauma? Is this common? I have talked to therapists already. My current one doesn't seem to know what to make out of it.
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