Great! You found me on 7cups!
Read more about me below...
Very important! I am on 7cups because I like to help people, I am not at all here to date anyone. My profile picture is not me personally but rather represents self-care. I'm often here in the afternoons Western European timezone.
I speak English - Dutch and German.
I have personal experience with a number of topics like:C-PTSD - Anxiety - Depression - LGBTQ - Loneliness - Mindfulness - Kindness - Self-care - Getting unstuck
I might be able to be of use with other topics too, but sometimes it's best to find a user specialized in your topic. I am not very good with '
borderline disorder, so please find another listener if you'd like to talk about that.
When I am online? I'm online in the afternoons, CET. Look at the colored ball next to my profile picture to see my status (red - offline / orange - busy / green - online and available) If I'm unavailable at the time you can send me a message so we can reconnect later.
About me: I enjoy helping people obviously, but also walking my dogs, reading, movies and good food. Personally I suffered a lot of early childhood trauma and was treated for chronic PTSD. It never goes away completely but you can learn to live with it. Although it's become a permanent handicap of sorts it has made me a lot wiser and mindful. I would like to listen to your story, so feel free to chat with me when I'm online. Or leave a message to connect at a later time if I'm offline. It's good that you are on 7cups!
Website: There is a lot I like to share so I created a website for it,
find it here.
***Tips and Tricks section***These things help me to keep me feeling good or get out of a bad period:In a good period to continue to feel good: (General objectives are to let your inner-child play and discover, be a good parent for your inner-child and educate yourself to get better at it)
* Go to bed and get plenty of rest. 8-10 hours. (Feeling tired during the day is the highway to losing your ability to self-care)
* At bedtime brush your teeth. (no need for those nasty bacteria poisoning your body)
* During the day, take one or more times to rest for 20 minutes. (I let my brain focus on soft ambient music, it’s very calming and soothing.
* Play a game. (A happy child is a happy you)
* Cuddle with someone or a pet. (Cuddling sets loos all sorts of beneficial hormones to lift your mood).
* Paint. (It can be hard to express how you feel in words, painting may help)
* Take photos of beautiful, colorful and happy scenes. (You will help your mind to focus on the positive things in life).
* Keep a certain rhythm of anchor moments each day. (having good anchors keeps the train from derailing, think breakfast, lunch, dinner, shopping, cleaning, work, watching tv etc.)
* Be aware of your needs and take care of them. (Move around a bit to drain the toxins that accumulate in the body after a while. Need to go to the toilet? Go! Thirsty? Get something to drink. Need to get out of a bad situation? Take care of it.)
* Keep a diary, even some keywords are enough. (A diary can offer perspective and show your progress)
* Give others the benefit of the doubt to have good intentions. (without becoming naïve) (Most people are inherently good, but flawed, just like you. If you approach them with a positive attitude, they will be stimulated to give you the same courtesy)
* Acknowledge all feelings, observe without judgment and learn from them. (Your feelings are who you really are. Nobody is perfect. Find out what works for you and what does not)
* Play or do sports (volleyball, inline skating, tennis, swimming, whatever gets your energies flowing).
* Talk to a trusted person. (Sharing your experiences makes you less lonely and the other person can comfort you and help you to put things in perspective)
* If the brain is in overdrive tell yourself that Rome wasn’t built in a single day, then focus on what the body needs at that time and take care of that.
* It is okay to escape your thoughts by for example gaming or exercising, as long as you are conscious of the point why you are doing it. You need a break.
* The solution often lies in the compromise. Not in extremes. (If you can find a compromise you will have done something good for you, but maybe also for someone else. And that raises your self-esteem).
* What you give attention grows, the bad but also the good.
Quick fixes: (General objective is to place your attention to pleasant bodily experiences)
* 1-2 minute exercise. Breathe in normally and slowly out. Focus on your breath only. This is a short meditation exercise to bring some calm to your mind. Do as often as needed.
* Focus on smells, take something that has a strong pleasant smell and focus on that.
* Take a shower and feel the warmth of the water on your skin, the smell of the shower gel, the sound of the water falling on the floor.
* Take a walk outside and focus on things you see. Also look at the sky, the light will be beneficial and the scene will help put things in perspective.
* Watch some humoristic movies on YouTube, nothing as healthy as laughing!
* Take a 20 minute rest as described above.
***Quotes section***Happiness -
Comparison is the thief of joy. (Theodore Roosevelt)
Mindfulness -
Stop and smell the roses.
If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present. (Lao Tzu)
The flame that burns Twice as bright burns half as long. (Lao Tzu)
Getting unstuck -
You can't stop the waves but you can learn to surf.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. (Lao Tzu)
A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving. (Lao Tzu)
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. (Lao Tzu)
A man with outward courage dares to die; a man with inner courage dares to live. (Lao Tzu)
Love -
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. (Lao Tzu)
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everyone will respect you. (Lao Tzu)
Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her. (Lao Tzu)
Wisdom -
The truth is not always beautiful, nor beautiful words the truth. (Lao Tzu)
Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner. (Lao Tzu)
Worrying -
Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy. (Leo F. Buscaglia)
Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow. (Swedish proverb)
People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them. (George Bernard Shaw)
If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you’ll die a lot of times. (Dean Smith)
Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.