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Minisnoflakez
190 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2019 Member sinceJanuary 21, 2018
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So conflicted...
Relationship Stress / by Minisnoflakez
Last post
 December 31st, 2018
...See more My husband and I have been married for a little less than 2 years but have been together for almost 9 and lived together for 8. We fight sometimes as pretty much everyone does and his turn to statement is "do you want to get a divorce" or "how do you want to split everything up"...I think he knows this is what would get to me as I have been divorced in the past - my ex cheated on me with someone he worked with. We always get over it and talk about changing things and what we each need to work on but we just fall back into the same old habits. He is really unhappy at work so I get that he is very stressed and try to let things go a lot of the time because of it. But lately (the last few weeks especially) he has been very cagey. I'll ask him what he is doing and he'll tell me he is playing a game on his phone - but I can literally see that he is texting someone. He falls asleep with his phone under his pillow or in his hand but we were driving somewhere a week or so ago and a name I don't know pops up on his truck's display - Amy. I ask who it is and he says its someone from work and that they text him on his personal phone because he ignores his work phone when he's at home. I let it go. He continues hiding his phone but tripped up and left it out while he took a shower two days ago. I'm not going to say that snooping in his phone is my proudest moment but...Amy - he is chatting with her about how we aren't working out and aren't probably going to stay together and about how he's bad and blah, blah, blah. A bunch of awkward feeling each other out stuff and him talking about what type of person he could be with. To me, this is straight up cheating. I confront him - ask who Amy is - I'm mad - I didn't even read everything in the messages because I was so mad (I wish I had because he deleted them so I have no idea how bad it got). Amy is a girl he works with. I tell him its over and he says that he will do whatever it takes. I told him years ago that the one way to get me to leave for sure is to cheat on me...he doesn't think he cheated - he says he hasn't touched anyone since we've been together. I feel weak - I want to try to figure it out but I also don't. I told him that we need to see a therapist and he can't talk to girls that I don't know. But he WORKS with this girl - how can I trust him?! Yesterday - the day after - I ask if he prefers a male or female therapist so that I can work on finding one right now and he says "do you want to try without one first"...which makes me wonder if he even is all in. I plan on going to a therapist one way or another - for myself. But, is it even possible to trust him again....is it worth it to try...will he keep doing and just cover his tracks better....so many questions and so few answers.
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