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Minkcar
306 M Embraced 2
PathStep 50 Compassion hearts31 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2024 Member sinceJanuary 28, 2020
Bio

My name is Miles. 

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boundaries, and peer pressure (not that kind though)
Anxiety Support / by Minkcar
Last post
 December 1st, 2022
...See more theres this house show (concert in a home, band is just some local kids i assume) tonight but not only do i have work at 10am tomorrow (100% mandatory, cannot call out) but even if i do go, im gonna be the only sober person and i am generally pretty low energy, so im not exactly going to be raging even if i go. last time i just sat on the couch and tried not to fall asleep. not that it wasnt fun, but it wasn't for me. the problem is that if i dont go, i think one of my friends will be disappointed/upset with me. he is v sensitive about plans cancelation. i also believe that he will go to this party whether i go or not, and that he will likely drive himself there and back, under the influence. (also, a friend i havent seen in a very long time is going to be there and i want to see him, but also not if hes gonna be wasted the whole time.) everyone keeps telling me im not their chauffeur and its not my responsibility to make sure my friends arent drunk driving, and that i have to set boundaries. but i just can't!!! i only have 2 friends i see more than once every few months. if i dont have them then i have no social life. i just really don't want my friend to be mad at me for cancelling and being boring and in a lame way, straightedged (im not straightedge, i just think drugs and alcohol should be used in much more moderation, especially when we are all underage, and all have genetic predisposition to addiction). my friend is not big into talking, and i am historically horrible at serious conversations because i am autistic and have jo sense of tact, and i have a hard time putting together an appropriate response, so talking about it, while probably needed, is not likely to actually lead anywhere, especially because im too anxious to even try. this is long and convoluted and its unlikely i will get a response before the party, but as this is clearly a problem that runs deeper than the situation itself, i would still appreciate advice.
Minkcar profile picture
Something I noticed
Depression Support / by Minkcar
Last post
 April 25th, 2022
...See more About a group of lonely people. We all are absolutely desperate to be heard, because no one has heard us in so long. I was in a group of 4-5 people and I could sense every second that we were all dying to be the one talking right then, about literally anything. It was a struggle to get a word in. But it felt okay, like a group struggle. Like we were all grasping for purchase against the same cliff, not competing, but commiserating. Ive been thinking about it ever since. The way we need to be heard. I know some of those people I was with had other people they were talking to (including me), but still, in that moment of speaking to new-ish people, I was desperate to speak and be known. I look back at some of the things I said; some of it made no sense, but I don't regret it because I just needed to let my words out and into other peoples ears. I think they did too. Maybe I imagined it all. Maybe I'm projecting myself onto them. But maybe lonely people need to be heard. Maybe that's why I'm posting this; not to leave you, the reader, with any knowledge or anything, but simply to be seen and heard by anyone at all. Or maybe I'm being dramatic because it's kind of late where I am.
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