MxReyne Member Profile

...See more The small friend group I have online has shown me signs that I'm perceiving as 'I'm not wanted.' They don't invite me to games, they don't notice if I'm around or not and don't praise me for doing well in anything. I know I shouldnt rely on their approval but they do it for each other, they're always boosting each other up. But get quiet when I'm around. I've been struggling more with emotional outbursts lately. So I assume they are tired of it and tired of me. Especially after the game last night, I felt very pushed away from the group, they act like I'm not there. I've been trying for days to practice dbt skills and to take care of myself, but its like the harder I try, the harder the depression and anger hits. I already resigned that I wont eat today, I feel like I'm just a nuisance on this family. Doesnt help that they make comments on me being reclusive, which isn't accepted, "[I] cant be happy being introverted." Or that because being here two months and I'm still depressed means maybe it wasnt a good idea to come here. I should just go back to the abuse than? I just feel like I never get a home and I'm not accepted anywhere. I have no friends, no other family wants me, I'm not being what everyone wants and I can't even hold myself together. I cry at least once a day, usually multiple times. I just think its best I keep pretending I dont exist and leave everyone alone since I'm such an unwanted bother.

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