Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Nevee
153 M Embraced 1
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2020 Member sinceFebruary 12, 2020
Bio
Recent forum posts
Nevee profile picture
Help me, please.
Eating Disorder Support / by Nevee
Last post
 February 13th, 2020
...See more Hey. I'm a teenage girl who just turned 15 today. Despite my young age, I've been suffering from an eating disorder for two years. To explain, I have some kind of " crises " ( it's not a good word, but I don't know how to say it ). It's often by periods. For a few months, I will eat normally, I will even take a second plate (even if it was very rare at the time) and after a while, I won't be able to eat anymore. I will feel guilty every time I eat. That was last year. Since this year, there are no more crises, because I can't eat anymore. I eat very small amounts whenever I can. I avoid all fatty things as much as possible. I can no longer look at myself in the mirror without looking at my stomach or my thighs (I am thin, I don't have any extra pounds). I no longer sit down without telling myself that my thighs are huge. I used to be able to live with it. But now I can't do it anymore. It's unbearable. I only think about losing weight ( I weigh about 47.5 - 48 KG (French unit) for 1m64 ). To be honest, I want to reach 40 KG, I am aware that it is wrong, but it is stronger than me. I hate my body, I hate myself. I've gotten to the point where I feel nauseous after eating or worse, I make myself vomit sometimes. I'm clearly at the end of my rope. Why am I like this? Why do I have this? I have a huge problem with self-confidence, self-esteem and loneliness. I don't like myself, I don't like who I am, either physically or mentally. I feel like I'm surviving in a world where I don't belong. I feel tired. I sleep, but I feel like I can't sleep. I can hardly stay awake anymore, I just want to stay in bed and do nothing. I feel like I'm getting worse every day. I've talked to my friends about it, but it's like they forget the next second. I don't know what to do anymore. Anyway, I'm not looking for a cure. I'm not ready and I'm not mentally strong enough to try to get better. I just want to understand what I have, try to understand me. Thank you for reading and I hope my English was understandable.
Search more from @Nevee
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
9 total badges
Hand Shake Linked First Post Debuted Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Meet & Greet Forum Friend
Report an issue