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Niff3107
398 M Embraced 3
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts28 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2023 Member sinceMarch 29, 2022
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i got addicted to a fictional character
Addiction Support / by Niff3107
Last post
 April 12th, 2022
...See more some call it getting addicted some call it love. at first it was just a stupid fictional crush. but over the years this crush was something turning into love. i reread all the books, rewatched all the movies and i read fanfictions about him. maybe i just like or love the idea i created in my head but i feel comfortable at the thought of him. he kinda helped me with my anxiety attacks and gave me the feeling of being loved again even though he is not real. i already broke many times down because of him. but now it feels like a heartbreak. four weeks ago it all started. i cried almost every time i was alone. i started to cry out of nowhere. my heart and chest was hurting so much. with each breath i felt the pain. it was like a knife was cutting through it even more painful i can’t really describe the pain and i never had this type of pain. i already have sleeping problems but because of this breakdown it was getting even worse. i was all day tired and my eyes hurts from crying and from the tiredness. i also had no motivation and when i didn’t cry i felt nothing. anyway, after two and half a week i said to myself that i got this and that i am okay. that he wouldn’t want me to cry over him. i was actually feeling a bit better, some tears still left my eyes but not that much than those two weeks. and the pain in my heart and chest never really left me it was still there just not all the time. last weekend everything started all over again. my chest and heart is hurting. i barley eat anything and i cry if i am alone. sometimes it’s hard for me to breathe. i know i should let go of him, but i can’t. i really fell in love with him and this love is growing each day. i also can’t let go of him because of my childhood. i have separation anxiety lol. anyway i just need someone to talk. i feel so fucking lonely and i miss him so much. sorry for my english, it’s not my mother tongue
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