Nkj21 Member Profile

...See more My girlfriend of two years recently broke up with me on our anniversary. Essentially as I was on my way to her house. We have been best friends and more during those two years. One of the hallmarks of our relationship was that we always said we would be partners and a team and figure things out together. So I’m feeling extraordinary crushed because a week before the break up she said “she wanted me for the rest of time”, in the last month of the relationship she said “you’re everything”, “I know you’re it for me”, etc. The day of the anniversary it was “I can’t wait to see you” and “two whole years!!!”. Then as I’m driving over to her place with ingredients because we are going to cook for each other, she calls me having a panic attack and saying she needs to cancel, when I push her as to why or what’s wrong, I eventually ask “are we breaking up”? She says “well I want to talk to you about it”. So we talk and she essentially says the relationship is causing her a lot of guilt and shame because it started as an affair, and she can no longer live with it and we need to break up but how can we stay in each others lives because I am her best friend. I’ve been spinning through the wheel of grief for two weeks now. I envisioned life with her. She was so important to me, the single defining relationship of my 40+ years on this planet. I’m absolutely devastated and shattered. It was a complicated relationship but we did and shared so much. For it to end like that has me feeling so hurt. It was just so abrupt. There was no discussion like should happen in a partnership. It just seems like all the things she said right toward the end were a lie and now I don’t know what to think or feel about her at all. The worst part is I’m still absolutely in love with her. I’ve had panic attacks for two weeks now and I typically might have one a year. It’s just over and I don’t know how to pick up the pieces.

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