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No0n9
1 351 M Embraced 3
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts27 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2026 Member sinceJune 23, 2026
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What am I even doing
Depression Support / by No0n9
Last post
 June 23rd
...See more For the first time in my life it feels really weird that I'm trying to reach out for help. I have tried countless times before, trying to get help from a Professional. But what stops me is the cost and I can't push myself to do it. I hate feeling vulnerable and it feels like I have to beg for support, and what makes things worse is that I know I have to do it if I don't want to be harsh to myself. I cope with my avoidance, and people are getting affected because of it. This results in me hating them for not understanding my situation because I have to live in constant survival mode and I hate that they have these little problems and I feel *** for invalidating them like that too. I hate that I'm aware, I hate that I know I can be better but I everytime I try it feels like the knot is getting tighter. I feel hopeless rn and hate everything else. I've avoided both my parents (because they got issues with me complaining about the life they built for us because they both failed as parents) and it resulted to making my life more lonely, the only thing that I love in this world is my siblings. Now I stare at my phone, trying to connect with someone, and I don't know if it's my pride, I just can't bring myself to do it. I have never lasted in any apps, maybe after this I might not open this again anymore, but I still hope, that maybe everything will get better.
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