Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Orkah
1 159 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2022 Member sinceJuly 2, 2022
Bio
Recent forum posts
Orkah profile picture
Confused
Trauma Support / by Orkah
Last post
 July 2nd, 2022
...See more I am processing too much all at once. It feels very hard to breathe and my eyes are like leaky faucets. I would very much like to turn them off but they've never been so disobedient before. I feel less scared now but when you start yelling and insulting and finally truly calling out someone who has been mentally and verbally insulting your for years (and sometimes lightly physically) for who they are, and they block you in the room and blame you for escalating things while not letting you leave and won't back down until I say I'll call our dad who he is most afraid of because he doesn't want to get kicked out, and he knows what he has done is wrong so he doesn't want him to know because he will get kicked out for it, it is hard to not feel unsafe, I think. It took me until just a few months ago to even call it abuse. Because I feel dramatic but I also can sense that it's wrong but. Even then, when he apologizes, I feel bad and bend to an extent and I usually try to tiptoe around his own flaws and problems especially in the case of telling our dad because I was afraid that if he got kicked out he'd drink himself to death. But now I just want him to leave because I feel so unsafe and unhappy and I hate it so much. It is very selfish of me, but he is more than old enough to have his own place, and is out of college, with a job. Can't I just have my own life back? When he was gone everything was so much more calm and happy. My dad wasn't stressed all the time and I felt free.
Search more from @Orkah
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
7 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Honest Voice First Post Reaching out First Compassion Forum Friend
Report an issue