Oui93 Member Profile

...See more It's quite. Everyone in the house is dead asleep ...everyone except for me. I lay in bed for what feels like hours eyes closed but unable to drift off. "Morning is coming " I tell myself . "I have to be up in a few hours I really need to sleep " I was so tired all day and I worked so hard . Why can't I sleep. ? I'll feel awful tomorrow if I don't fall asleep soon . Over and over this nightly routine of convincing my brain to shut down if only for moment . I dance on the edge of exhaustion until finally I rest . I've never slept well unless I work my body until everything hurts . I have way to much energy but it only want to come out at night. And when I finally manage to sleep nightmares flood my head . Memories ??? Flash backs ??? Things that make no sense. A shaking hand . Cold breath on my skin A flame with no warmth It's like horror movies spliced together . But I put on my poker face, hide the bags under my eyes and drown in coffee so I can maintain and handle all my responsibilities . (Not healthy I know) If I could sleep one night just a deep restful sleep everything would be OK .

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