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Pakeithpsy
176 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts14 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2024 Member sinceMay 5, 2022
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I hate humanity (sensitive content)
Anxiety Support / by Pakeithpsy
Last post
 June 29th, 2022
...See more I hate humanity so much, every single day I wake up and see all manner of disgusting things committed by humanity. The planet is being destroyed, people are being attacked and persecuted because of their identity, bigots control the world, the media is a fearmongering monster, technology and big corporations are stealing our personal information, kids are being shot, and nobody does anything to fix it because the dark forces controlling the world undo all our efforts in one fell swoop and care more about money than human lives. I hate this species so much. I feel nothing but shame knowing I'm part of this horrific group of people. Everybody keeps saying "things will get better uwu" but they never, ever do. I feel like the only way things will ever improve is to just nuke the whole planet and let nature start over from there. I hate this planet and I hate the people on it and I just want things to be better again.
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Creativity feels pointless
Anxiety Support / by Pakeithpsy
Last post
 December 18th, 2023
...See more All I've ever wanted in life was to be a creator of some kind. Be it an artist, writer, animator, game designer, anything that allows me to express and share my ideas with the world. But now I just feel like it will never happen. I have no following or fandom to speak of and my art is horribly, painfully mediocre, but no matter how hard I try I feel like I never get better and when I think of how I need to improve I don't even know where to start and I just get too overwhelmed to even move forward. My instructors, family, and friends keep telling me my ideas and work are good and I'm getting better but I feel like they're just lying to spare my feelings. The only thing I'm even slightly competent at is writing, but as far as the creative world is concerned that's a completely useless skill since people only ever want artists or animators and nobody in the creative world will even give you the time of day unless you can actually animate a pilot or create a working prototype, and even then most of my best writing work is NSFW fetish junk that I can never show my IRL peers. I don't even have the money to hire people to help me because I have no job and am practically unhireable because I have no work skills, can't drive, and am too emotionally unbalanced to be able to handle a high-tension work environment, but I'm not incompetent or mentally braindead enough to qualify for disability. I want to share my thoughts and ask people for help but I feel like there's never a good time since my family is always busy and/or seemingly in a bad mood or everyone else is too busy talking and I don't want to interrupt. I just don't know what to do anymore. All I've ever wanted in life is to be a creator, but I feel like I'm not cut out for it anymore since I have no talent, no money, no recognition, and I lack the necessary social skills to network and make connections. The only slightly successful outlet I have is my aforementioned NSFW stuff but the few people who do follow my NSFW accounts are some of the most shallow ingrates on the planet who will like anything as long as it has tits dangled in front of them, and they aren't even willing to spend even $1 to financially support me and they couldn't care less about any of the real work I make. It all just feels hopeless.
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