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Penguin5052
1 68 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2018 Member sinceMarch 18, 2018
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Letter I wrote to my boyfriend but can't send
Journals & Diaries / by Penguin5052
Last post
 March 18th, 2018
...See more This is all something Ive been wanting to get off my chest for some time now but I cant grow the balls to say it to your face because I dont know how a fight would go with you, and I know this would turn into one or you would just get angry at what I am talking to you about. These are little things but I know if I dont say things they will turn into much much bigger problems. I have been having a problem with your smoking lately and I have no idea how to say it to you. I have grown up in a house where both my parents smoked my whole life. I have watched my dad go through two packs a day and my mom sit in the hospital because she cant breath. Now, before I sound like a hypocrite, I know I said it doesnt bother me but for some reason you have been doing it more and more. You know Im not a smoker but you smoke almost every 10 minutes with me in the car right next to you. I am not a smoker and theres for a really really good reason, I love breathing air and not your second hand smoke. I cant say anything to you because its not my place to tell you to put the cigarette out but I have noticed how excessive it has been getting. Why? Why do you need to smoke so many cigarettes in one day. I have been left inside at restaurants, family parties and other places just so you can step outside. I just dont get it and I guess I never will. Being in your house makes me have headaches and I leave with a relief that I am breathing non smoke filled air. I leave your house smelling like smoke and not only have I noticed it but so have other people. What do I do, how do I love you so much and want to start a life with you but put up with watching you kill yourself every day How do I handle this. How do I not bottle up these thoughts
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