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PinetownTree
1 674 M Embraced 5
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts107 Forum posts17 Forum upvotes31 Current upvotes31 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2026 Member sinceJanuary 3, 2022
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2 months to figure something out
Anxiety Support / by PinetownTree
Last post
 October 28th, 2025
...See more Hi everyone, It's been some time since I've been here but that's good, the last two years of my life have been better, new therapist, new meds, taking lots of steps to improve myself. However last night I lost it entirely. I've had equal OCD between my siblings for years, I have to spend equal time with them or if one touches something I panic until the other touches it. This goes way back 20 years in the past where my unhygienic dad used to cause me to feel he was bringing contaminations on my siblings-I was forced to try protecting them so they wouldn't be unclean in my eyes. Over the last 5+ years I got so stressed by it that I completely cut myself off from my siblings in the house, I wouldn't spend time or even pass through the room with them or go outside the house with them ever not because I hated them, but I felt like I couldn't equalize things to protect them or my own standards. We spent some time together this past Christmas then in the summer I started doing things with them like playing cards or watching movies. Recently we started going outside the house together. My mom doesn't recognize the huge steps I've taken even though she knows how significant they've been since she used to help me find therapists or separate me from my siblings in the house. She'll just say I need to do more. Last night I found out my mom got invited to go to Europe for three weeks to see friends there in December. That's fine until she said she wants to take only one of my siblings!! Not only is that going to be super unequal for my OCD but that means it'll bring contaminations to someplace sentimental to my family. I've begged her not to do this because it will erase the work I've put in this year but she is going to either do it or resent me. She's the only family I have. There's places special to me in the world, when people I feel unclean go there it ruins the special feelings or memories there I had. If both siblings were going I might have been ok with it. There's no OCD tools I have for this issue yet even though I've been working on it with my therapists. Just when I was getting better I've got this countdown clock that is going to ruin every bit of progress I've worked on. I'm just so devastated. Thanks for listening...
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Was it touched? How can I get past it?
Anxiety Support / by PinetownTree
Last post
 August 20th, 2023
...See more In the spring I needed to undergo colon surgery for the third time. My coworkers sent some get-well cards to my house, but one of them drove out to put theirs on my car. I was mortified cause my car is super sentimental to me even though what they did was super nice, my job is my big source of phobias like seen here: healthunlocked.com/my-ocd/p... [https://healthunlocked.com/my-ocd/posts/149794117/just-looking-for-kind-words...?responses=149810741&utm_source=notification&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email_individual_response] My mom wiped my car off, we said that because my car was covered in gunk then my car wasn't touched directly but it has started to torment me endlessly...thinking I can't drive my car places or if I do it'll spread contaminations. I like car movies so now I can't watch them because I think of my own car, how I couldn't save it from touching when I went out of my way for years to be sure people wouldn't touch it. I recently cleansed my wiper blades the envelope was under, they were covered in thick layers of gunk. My windshield was covered in pollen when it occurred, plus they were cutting trees on my street so it was covered in sawdust. Who knew how long it was since my car was washed cause I was in the hospistol? I've seen where people say there's layers of oil on your windshield over time or other dirth buildup that happens from driving. Our cams outside looks like the coworker just slide the envelope , didn't touch the car itself so is it possible with enough layers, the glass or the wiper wasn't touched by the person or envelope?
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Running out of hope or ideas...
Newbie Hub / by PinetownTree
Last post
 August 4th, 2023
...See more Hi everyone, my short intro... Over the last weekend my OCD from the past two years imploded on me, I instantaneously fell into severe depression. While I've struggled for twenty years, the last ten were tough but there were times it got better with help. In July 2021 I underwent some kind of episode...people going to "special places" bothers me if I feel the person has contaminations. I thought someone I knew said they were going to visit one of them where my ex lives, I cried for two days. I quit my job, I went to work for the college I went to. My new job was filled with triggering contaminations for me, I did my best to try to work past it because of the benefits. It started to get better but I withdrew from my relatives in the house even more thinking I would bring contaminations home with me so I hid from them in the house. I tried to justify why this job was better or why the people were decent people I should connect with better. I don't like gifts from people outside my relatives, for the holidays some of my co-workers gave me very nice gifts the last two years but I'm scared to touch them. Recently I needed to undergo colon surgery for the third time. One of my co-workers put their get-well note in my vehicle. I was mortified cause my car is super sentimental to me even though what they did was super nice. My mom wiped my car off, we said that because my car was covered in gunk then my car wasn't touched directly but it still bothers me. Rememeber why I quit my last job? Now I'm tormented weekly by people with "contaminations" telling me they're going to special places of mine-places I felt safe, sentimental, or special because I spent time with loved ones there. I'm religious, I believe God can do lots of things so I've been praying for days for God to fix this for me, to take me backwards in time to not ruin everything or to fix my life like these things didn't happen. Nobody I know is willing to join me in prayers for this so it's been super hurtful, I've seen incredible prayers of theirs come to pass with no natural explanations. I'm inconsulable, tired, hungry, scared...I've lots the progress I was working towards in CPT. I can't see my therapist until the 15th, I feel the "contaminations" have spread to everything to I'm scared to go places or do things I used to. Written by
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