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Plumbob740
288 M Embraced 2
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts38 Forum posts11 Forum upvotes17 Current upvotes17 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2022 Member sinceAugust 8, 2022
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Starting DBT again?
Personality Disorders Support / by Plumbob740
Last post
 August 9th, 2022
...See more So I took DBT a long time ago but never finished. Due to the therapist said I was too stupid to understand when they were going to deep dive into interpersonal effectiveness. It is hard. Honestly. When people get curious about you and want to get to know you, I push them away. It honestly feels like I am suffocating and drowning. People and I have a love/hate relationship. They are okay over there away from me. As long as I don't have to see them or talk with them. If people are concerned about me, please don't come near me, you are just going to push me over the edge even more. I am currently over that edge right now. But my family has my Google accounts hacked, my privacy has been invaded for 3 years and during those 3 years they have gaslighted me and they aren't the only ones who have done that. I can no longer trust people. I am paranoid. There are people out there to get me. I have been bullied at home and at work. I have quit everything my family has invaded like Journaling, my artwork and so forth. I have to be careful with how I act and say. Even in therapy, I will no longer ask questions because an argument will in sue. I never wanted my family involved. They are toxic. And I cannot get away from them. I have disowned them but still treat them with respect. I have no clue on what to do. I am so past my limit. I am overwhelmed, overstimulated, and going through a sensory overload. I have no escape. Send bacon and Huggins, please. I am going to need it
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Social Anxiety and Work
Anxiety Support / by Plumbob740
Last post
 August 10th, 2022
...See more How do you find a job where there isn't a lot of people, you don't have to talk with people. Where you can just show up and do your job. The thing is humans are curious creatures and social but every time they try to get to know me. I go into flight and freeze mode.. I cannot even get past a week on the job. I cannot find a safe work environment either. Once HR finds out that I have mental Health issues I get bullied out the door. Every cleaning job I have had you have to have the best communication skills. You have to talk to other people. I don't want to meet people at work. People scare me when they are in person. I avoid the phone at all cost. Why do co workers want to get to know you then bully you until you quit? I am trying to understand. Every job I had I get bullied. I haven't done nothing wrong. Why do employers allow bullying and the hazing on the job? With having social anxiety and ptsd plus the added bullying those things do not mix well. All it does is increase those symptoms. How do people last on the job more than a week?
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How do you keep going?
35 & Over Community / by Plumbob740
Last post
 August 13th, 2022
...See more Sometimes I like to think about Dory from Finding Nemo. Just keep swimming. It is honestly hard being in an environment I cannot escape from. It feels like I am suffocating, drowning at best.. I have looked at my options numerous of times. Finding a place of my own is hard in my income bracket. Waiting lists are a year long. So I am looking at another year from now. A family member took me off a waiting list so I could have been out this year. There isn't any help out there for people who have to deal with verbal and mental abuse from family. I have zero friends. I don't want any either. It is for their safety since I am being hunted down or stalked. I am in a hard place. Providers are on my families side. From them telling employers that I have mental health issues to those employers bullying me out the door. I cannot escape. I cannot get the help I need because those providers employer is the only place you can get help from. My family and those providers talk without a release of information. How you say? Well lesson learned. Never ever work for that company those providers work for. I was stupid into thinking that they were going to be understanding of mental health issues and disorders. Just don't do it. I asked for accommodations and was told no. Had a mental health break on the job. All because I was overwhelmed, over stimulated and going through a sensory overload. You think that with cleaning that you don't talk with people at all or just a few every now and then. That is a lie. Every cleaning job you have to have the most perfect communication skills even if it isn't your forte. With my stress level being high, being overstimulated overwhelmed, sensory overload with no chance of a break. Have no privacy because both your family and your providers love overstepping your boundaries. Like reading your emails, over analyzing your art work, reading your journals. I now have to ask if it is okay with them to breathe. Oh don't forget the paid friends(ex coworkers)that they had me try to get to know and talk too. You cannot forget about that one. Where do I go from here? What do I do? If I switch providers, my family will do whatever it takes to get those providers talking. My sister in law had me sign a blank release of information right after my car accident and now has multiple copies at her leisure. How do I run for the hills?
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