Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
QuietMagic
4 252,314
L Genius 12
5.0 star rating
Rating
Number of ratings117 Number of reviews74 Listens toTeens & Over 18 LanguagesEnglish Listener sinceAug 16, 2015 Last activein last week PathStep 319 People helped236 Chats4,345 Group support chats4 Listener group chats2 Forum posts1,881 Forum upvotes2,668
Bio

Hi, my name is Josh. 💜 If you'd like to chat with me in real-time, you can use my booking form HERE to schedule a 60-minute chat. Alternatively, if you'd like to chat via offline messages, can send me a PM and I’ll try my best to respond within 24-48 hours; my responses may be slower over the weekend. I don't specialize in any particular topics and am willing to talk to anyone about anything.

Recent forum posts
Module 4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: (Discussion #10) Trust
Personality Disorders Support / by QuietMagic
Last post
 May 26th, 2022
...See more DBTuesday is a series of posts where we explore skills and concepts from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). This is one of several posts focusing on interpersonal effectiveness, which is the fourth module of DBT skills training. See this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/IntroductiontoDBT_261066/] for general info about DBT and this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/Module4InterpersonalEffectivenessDiscussion1Overview_276173/] for more info about interpersonal effectiveness. What is trust Trust is a sense of security and loyalty; it means feeling safe with someone and having confidence that they will not hurt you. When relationships are built on trust, this allows for the following positive things to happen: * Generosity: people are more likely to feel comfortable giving to others who they trust * Openness: people are more likely to feel comfortable being honest and vulnerable when they feel safe * Forgiveness: people are more likely to accept someone’s shortcomings when they view that person as having good intentions and being generally reliable Tips for building your trust of others * Take your time: allow yourself as much time as you need to gradually build up trust * Allow for degrees of trust: it’s normal to trust some people more than others or to trust a person with certain things but not with other things * Build trust incrementally: one way to do this is to trust someone with something small and if it goes well then try gradually trusting them with other things that are deeper, more significant, or more vulnerable * Be careful: connected with the previous tip, opening up too much or too quickly to someone who hasn’t yet been established as trustworthy may lead to disappointment * Discuss it: be open about the fact that you struggle with trust, including sharing as much as you feel comfortable about why that is; help the other person understand how certain actions might affect you * Agree upon expectations: use DEAR MAN [https://www.7cups.com/forum/BorderlinePersonalityDisorderSupportCommunity_81/DBTuesday_2147/Module4InterpersonalEffectivenessDiscussion4DEARMAN_277327/] to communicate any wants/needs that are important to you and reach a shared agreement on what you can expect * Be optimistic: be on the lookout for evidence that people have good intentions or might be worth trusting Tips for building others’ trust of you * Honor commitments: if you promise something, do your best to keep that promise. If you change your mind about a promise or find that you are unable to keep it, be sure to communicate this. In general, aspire to have your actions be consistent with your words. * Communicate clearly: if you want something or plan to do something, share that directly so that the other person is informed and does not have to guess or make assumptions * Admit mistakes: if you make a mistake, take accountability for it, ask how you can do better, and commit to not repeating the mistake (or if that doesn’t feel realistic, then develop a plan to try to reduce the chances of it happening) * Be honest: if you aren’t comfortable sharing the truth about something or don’t know the truth about something, be open about that and possibly offer to revisit it at a later time Reflection What have you personally found helpful in building trust (either yours or someone else’s)? Sources: https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-build-trust-in-a-relationship-5207611 [https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-build-trust-in-a-relationship-5207611] https://www.verywellmind.com/why-you-may-have-trust-issues-and-how-to-overcome-them-5215390 [https://www.verywellmind.com/why-you-may-have-trust-issues-and-how-to-overcome-them-5215390] https://www.gottman.com/blog/4-tips-to-build-everyday-trust-in-relationships/ [https://www.gottman.com/blog/4-tips-to-build-everyday-trust-in-relationships/]
Module 4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: (Discussion #9) Validation
Personality Disorders Support / by QuietMagic
Last post
 May 6th, 2022
...See more DBTuesday is a series of posts where we explore skills and concepts from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). This is one of several posts focusing on interpersonal effectiveness, which is the fourth module of DBT skills training. See this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/IntroductiontoDBT_261066/] for general info about DBT and this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/Module4InterpersonalEffectivenessDiscussion1Overview_276173/] for more info about interpersonal effectiveness. What is validation Validation involves acknowledging and accepting other people’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This allows people to feel heard and respected, which helps in maintaining and deepening relationships. What validation is not * Negating or dismissing: invalidating behaviors like this can create distrust, interfere with emotional regulation, and make it more difficult for people to work through and resolve any negative feelings or mental health issues they may have * Agreeing with someone else: it’s possible you may still have your own perspective that differs; validation involves temporarily stepping into another person’s perspective, connecting with what it is like to have that perspective, and approaching it in a non-violent way by allowing it to exist without criticizing or shaming it * Submitting to unacceptable behavior: if someone is being aggressive or inappropriate, it may make more sense to remove yourself from the situation and wait on talking to them until they have calmed down; you are allowed [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/Module4InterpersonalEffectivenessDiscussion2InterpersonalRights_276705/] to enforce boundaries [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/Module4InterpersonalEffectivenessDiscussion8Boundaries_277333/] Tips for validating * Listen: pay attention to what the other person is saying (as well as nonverbal behaviors that might provide hints as to how they are feeling) and ask questions if needed * Body language: speak in a gentle way, show that you are listening by facing toward them and making eye contact, and avoid signals of rejection such as crossing your arms * Restate: repeat back what the other person has said from their perspective without disagreeing, blaming, or adding judgments * Consider causes: think about how a person’s behavior or feelings might make sense from their perspective based on their experiences and background * Communicate that what they have shared is understandable: once you feel you are able to put yourself into the other person’s shoes and understand how their feelings/thoughts/actions make sense, share this understanding with them * Treat them as an equal: avoid talking down or being patronizing, and be humble about the possibility that you may not completely understand their experience or know what is best for them Reflection Have you experienced any benefits from validating others? Sources: https://dbtselfhelp.com/dbt-skills-list/interpersonal-effectiveness/validation/ [https://dbtselfhelp.com/dbt-skills-list/interpersonal-effectiveness/validation/] https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/listening-and-validation/ [https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/listening-and-validation/] https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-emotional-validation-425336 [https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-emotional-validation-425336]
Module 4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: (Discussion #8) Boundaries
Personality Disorders Support / by QuietMagic
Last post
 May 29th, 2022
...See more DBTuesday is a series of posts where we explore skills and concepts from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). This is one of several posts focusing on interpersonal effectiveness, which is the fourth module of DBT skills training. See this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/IntroductiontoDBT_261066/] for general info about DBT and this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/Module4InterpersonalEffectivenessDiscussion1Overview_276173/] for more info about interpersonal effectiveness. What are boundaries Boundaries are personal limits that allow us to protect and take care of ourselves. Examples of boundaries * Physical: being able to control your personal space, your privacy, and your body * Sexual: being able to decide what types of touch or verbal/physical intimacy you receive * Intellectual: being able to decide what thoughts, beliefs, and opinions you have * Emotional: being able to decide what feelings you share and how close you are to other people * Financial: being able to control your money and personal belongings Boundaries protect us Boundaries allow us to feel like we are in control of our lives. When boundaries are respected, this provides the sense of safety that allows us to feel comfortable with vulnerability or experimenting with growth/change. When boundaries are violated, we’ll tend to feel depleted, anxious, and exhausted. Boundaries protect others When we have a solid understanding of boundaries and how to enforce them for ourselves, we are also more likely to recognize and respect others’ boundaries. Boundaries differ from person to person People have different needs for boundaries depending on many factors: heritage, culture, geographical location, personality, life experiences, and family dynamics. Boundaries can be flexible or changing There may be certain people where it feels like looser boundaries are okay or more rigid boundaries are necessary. It’s also possible for boundaries to change over time in response to experiences. Tips for setting boundaries * Notice when you feel uncomfortable: check in with your body for signs of discomfort such as increased heart rate, sweating, or tension in your chest/stomach/throat * Self-reflection: think about situations that make you feel uncomfortable, consider whether there are any boundaries you might want to create, and ask how you would benefit from them * Communicate your boundaries with others: DEAR MAN [https://www.7cups.com/forum/BorderlinePersonalityDisorderSupportCommunity_81/DBTuesday_2147/Module4InterpersonalEffectivenessDiscussion4DEARMAN_277327/] provides a good framework for making these requests * Start small: if boundaries aren’t already in place, it might make sense to set a few boundaries at first, gradually add more over time, and re-evaluate periodically to see if tweaks are needed * Set boundaries early: setting expectations from the beginning can help to prevent future conflict or discomfort * Be consistent: letting boundaries slide can lead to confusion over where the lines are and lead to people crossing those lines more frequently Tips for respecting others’ boundaries * Ask before acting: examples would be to ask before hugging someone or to getting permission before asking a personal question * Look for cues indicating possible discomfort: examples include reduced eye contact, turning away or sideways, backing up, giving limited responses, change in tone of voice, nervous gestures, posture changes, flinching, or wincing. (Not all people will necessarily have the same cues though.) Reflection What is an example of a boundary that you have set or would like to set? Sources: https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries [https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries] https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/set-boundaries [https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/set-boundaries] https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/interpersonal-boundaries/ [https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/interpersonal-boundaries/] https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/boundary-building.php [https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/boundary-building.php]
Module 4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: (Discussion #7) THINK
Personality Disorders Support / by QuietMagic
Last post
 May 6th, 2022
...See more DBTuesday is a series of posts where we explore skills and concepts from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). This is one of several posts focusing on interpersonal effectiveness, which is the fourth module of DBT skills training. See this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/IntroductiontoDBT_261066/] for general info about DBT and this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/Module4InterpersonalEffectivenessDiscussion1Overview_276173/] for more info about interpersonal effectiveness. What is THINK THINK is a skill you can use to reduce negative feelings toward others. * Think * Have empathy * Interpretations * Notice * Kindness Tips for using THINK Think * Consider the situation from the other person’s perspective * Consider how the other person might understand your words and actions Have empathy * Consider how the other person might be feeling * Allow yourself to feel some of their feelings Interpretations * Ask whether there might be multiple ways to interpret the situation * Ask whether there might be alternative explanations for the other person’s behavior * Try to consider at least one positive or neutral explanation of the situation Notice * Notice things that the other person might be doing to try to improve the situation * Notice feelings, stressors, or problems that the other person might be struggling with that could influence their behavior Kindness * Be respectful * Treat the other person as you would like to be treated See also this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/Module1MindfulnessDiscussion8NegativeJudgments_265576/] for ideas on reducing negative judgments. Reflection What is a situation where you are able to use THINK? How would you use it? Sources: https://sunrisertc.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/ [https://sunrisertc.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/] https://www.mindsoother.com/blog/reducing-conflicts-with-the-think-skill [https://www.mindsoother.com/blog/reducing-conflicts-with-the-think-skill]
Module 4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: (Discussion #6) FAST
Personality Disorders Support / by QuietMagic
Last post
 May 6th, 2022
...See more DBTuesday is a series of posts where we explore skills and concepts from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). This is one of several posts focusing on interpersonal effectiveness, which is the fourth module of DBT skills training. See this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/IntroductiontoDBT_261066/] for general info about DBT and this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/Module4InterpersonalEffectivenessDiscussion1Overview_276173/] for more info about interpersonal effectiveness. What is FAST FAST is a skill you can use to communicate in a way that avoids sacrificing your self-respect or integrity. * Fair * Apologize less * Stick to your values * Truthful Tips for using FAST Fair * Be fair to both yourself and the other person * Try to find elements of truth and goodness in both your perspective and the other person’s * Consider both your own wants and needs and the other person’s * Avoid judgmental statements and stick to the facts Apologize less * Only apologize if you believe you have done something wrong * You don’t need to apologize for having wants/needs or having a different point of view Stick to your values * Know what your morals and values are * Don’t compromise on something you strongly believe in just to please the other person or avoid conflict * Don’t give in too quickly if you have concerns about something Truthful * Avoid exaggerating or stretching the facts of a situation * Avoid acting helpless if you have some power or control over a situation * Reframe judgments in terms of facts * Use Wise Mind [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/Module1MindfulnessDiscussion7WiseMind_265026/] (checking both your thoughts and feelings) to decide how much you want to share Reflection Which part of FAST do you find easiest to apply? Hardest to apply? Sources: https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/fast.php [https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/fast.php] https://sunrisertc.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/ [https://sunrisertc.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/] https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/interpersonal-effectiveness-dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt-0416134 [https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/interpersonal-effectiveness-dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt-0416134] https://dbtselfhelp.com/dbt-skills-list/interpersonal-effectiveness/fast/ [https://dbtselfhelp.com/dbt-skills-list/interpersonal-effectiveness/fast/]
Module 4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: (Discussion #5) GIVE
Personality Disorders Support / by QuietMagic
Last post
 May 6th, 2022
...See more DBTuesday is a series of posts where we explore skills and concepts from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). This is one of several posts focusing on interpersonal effectiveness, which is the fourth module of DBT skills training. See this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/IntroductiontoDBT_261066/] for general info about DBT and this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/Module4InterpersonalEffectivenessDiscussion1Overview_276173/] for more info about interpersonal effectiveness. What is GIVE GIVE is a skill you can use to communicate in a way that helps to preserve healthy relationships. * Gentle * Interested * Validate * Easy manner One way to think about it is that if DEAR MAN [https://www.7cups.com/forum/BorderlinePersonalityDisorderSupportCommunity_81/DBTuesday_2147/Module4InterpersonalEffectivenessDiscussion4DEARMAN_277327/] describes what to say when communicating, then GIVE describes how to say it. (Note: GIVE assumes that preserving the relationship is a priority. There may be some situations where it’s preferable to end the relationship rather than repeatedly using GIVE with someone where it doesn’t feel like it’s worth the effort.) Tips for using GIVE Gentle * Be kind and respectful * Avoid yelling, hitting, attacks, judgments, sarcasm, or threats (including threats of self-harm) * Allow the other person to take their time to share, delay the conversation, or talk in a private place if they feel safer doing that Interested * Listening without interrupting * When having an argument, listen to the other person’s point of view even if it’s challenging * Face the person, lean toward them, and maintain eye contact Validate * Try to see things from the other person’s point of view and acknowledge their feelings, wants, difficulties, and opinions * Show that you understand their perspective by echoing back what they’ve shared * If you find what they’re sharing to be unreasonable, try to find the “grain of truth” in it or see how it would be understandable for them to think/feel the way they do Easy manner * Smile, use humor, and be friendly and easygoing Reflection Which part of GIVE do you feel you could work on and improve? Sources: https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/give.php [https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/give.php] https://sunrisertc.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/ [https://sunrisertc.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/] https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/interpersonal-effectiveness-dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt-0416134 [https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/interpersonal-effectiveness-dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt-0416134] https://dbtselfhelp.com/dbt-skills-list/interpersonal-effectiveness/give/ [https://dbtselfhelp.com/dbt-skills-list/interpersonal-effectiveness/give/]
Module 4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: (Discussion #4) DEAR MAN
Personality Disorders Support / by QuietMagic
Last post
 May 6th, 2022
...See more DBTuesday is a series of posts where we explore skills and concepts from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). This is one of several posts focusing on interpersonal effectiveness, which is the fourth module of DBT skills training. See this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/IntroductiontoDBT_261066/] for general info about DBT and this post [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/Module4InterpersonalEffectivenessDiscussion1Overview_276173/] for more info about interpersonal effectiveness. What is DEAR MAN DEAR MAN is a skill you can use to ask for something in a respectful and effective way. * Describe: describe the situation * Express: express your feelings * Assert: state what you want * Reinforce: explain how they will benefit * Mindful: stay focused on your goal * Appear confident: present yourself as confident * Negotiate: be flexible and open to alternative solutions This skill doesn’t guarantee that you will always get what you want, but it should increase the chances. Before using this skill, it’s helpful to have a clear goal for what you want out of the interaction. It may also help to plan out what you’re going to say by writing out your DEAR MAN ahead of time. Tips for using DEAR MAN Describe * Keep the description simple * Stick to just concrete facts * Avoid judgments Express * Share how you’re feeling about the situation you just described * Use “I” statements * Avoid blaming the other person * Don’t assume the other person knows how you feel Assert * Be clear and direct so that there is no misunderstanding * DEAR MAN can also be saying no to something that you don’t want * Don’t assume the other person knows what you want Reinforce * Can explain the positive consequences of granting the request * Can explain the negative consequences of refusing the request * Can offer a favor or something else in return to create reciprocity (but if you do this then make sure to follow through on that offer) Mindful * Stay focused on your goal and your request * Ignore distractions, threats, or attacks from the other person that might draw the conversation off-course * Keep the conversation on-topic * Be like a “broken record” and repeat your request/points as many times as you need to Appear confident * Try to appear competent and effective even if you are really scared * Stand or sit up straight * Maintain eye contact * Speak confidently and clearly Negotiate * Be willing to compromise, reduce the request, or give something in order to get what you want * Offer alternative solutions or ask for other options * Focus on what will practically work and resolve the problem Example of DEAR MAN Let’s say that I am unhappy that my roommate is leaving dishes in the sink. * “For the past few days, you’ve been leaving dishes in the sink, and they are piling up to the point that it’s getting pretty difficult to use the sink.” [Describe] * “I feel frustrated not being able to use the sink when I need to.” [Express] * “I’d like it if you could clean your dishes sometime today.” [Assert] * “If you’re able to do that, I’d be really grateful, I’ll stop bothering you about it, and it would probably make it easier for you to use the sink also.” [Reinforce] * “I’d love to hear about the TV show that you’re watching sometime later but I want to talk about this right now.” [Mindful] * (Do confident things 😊) [Appear confident] * “That’s okay if you can’t do it tonight because you’re busy. Would you be able to do it tomorrow morning then?” [Negotiate] Reflection What is a situation where you could picture yourself applying DEAR MAN? Sources: https://sunrisertc.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/ [https://sunrisertc.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/] https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/dear-man.php [https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/dear-man.php] https://sunrisertc.com/dear-man/ [https://sunrisertc.com/dear-man/] https://dbtselfhelp.com/dbt-skills-list/interpersonal-effectiveness/dear-man/ [https://dbtselfhelp.com/dbt-skills-list/interpersonal-effectiveness/dear-man/]
Thoughtful Thursday Masterpost
Personality Disorders Support / by QuietMagic
Last post
 May 6th, 2022
...See more This thread lists all of the Thoughtful Thursday posts in chronological order. Thoughtful Thursday: Dealing with Stigma [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayDealingwithStigma_261231/] Thoughtful Thursday: Self-esteem [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdaySelfesteem_261785/] Thoughtful Thursday: Trauma [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayTrauma_262276/] Thoughtful Thursday: Self-image issues [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdaySelfimageissues_262841/] Thoughtful Thursday: Impostor syndrome [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayImpostorsyndrome_263413/] Thoughtful Thursday: Anger [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayAnger_263907/] Thoughtful Thursday: Non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI) [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayNonsuicidalselfinjuryNSSI_264574/] Thoughtful Thursday: Loneliness [https://www.7cups.com/forum/BorderlinePersonalityDisorderSupportCommunity_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayLoneliness_265174/] Thoughtful Thursday: Helplessness [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayHelplessness_265805/] Thoughtful Thursday: Dissociation [https://www.7cups.com/forum/BorderlinePersonalityDisorderSupportCommunity_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayDissociation_266334/] Thoughtful Thursday: Fear of Abandonment [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayFearofAbandonment_266833/] Thoughtful Thursday: Instability [https://www.7cups.com/forum/BorderlinePersonalityDisorderSupportCommunity_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayInstability_267402/] Thoughtful Thursday: Need for companionship [https://www.7cups.com/forum/BorderlinePersonalityDisorderSupportCommunity_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayNeedforcompanionship_268055/] Thoughtful Thursday: Fear of Vulnerability [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayFearofVulnerability_268625/] Thoughtful Thursday: Stress [https://www.7cups.com/forum/BorderlinePersonalityDisorderSupportCommunity_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayStress_269234/] Thoughtful Thursday: Perfectionism [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayPerfectionism_269844/] Thoughtful Thursday: Confusion [https://www.7cups.com/forum/BorderlinePersonalityDisorderSupportCommunity_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayConfusion_270405/] Thoughtful Thursday: Anxiety [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayAnxiety_270982/] Thoughtful Thursday: Flashbacks [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayFlashbacks_271610/] Thoughtful Thursday: Shame [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayShame_272223/] Thoughtful Thursday: Defensiveness [https://www.7cups.com/forum/BorderlinePersonalityDisorderSupportCommunity_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayDefensiveness_272833/] Thoughtful Thursday: Panic Attacks [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayPanicAttacks_273375/] Thoughtful Thursday: Dependency [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayDependency_273921/] Thoughtful Thursday: Self-Compassion [https://www.7cups.com/forum/BorderlinePersonalityDisorderSupportCommunity_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdaySelfCompassion_274442/] Thoughtful Thursday: Insight [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayInsight_274860/]
Search more from @QuietMagic
Feedback & Reviews
10/10, incredibly helpful, kind, great listener and also funny haha. Would definitely recommend
Josh is such an attentive and caring, intelligent and compassionate listener. He really strives to understand you and your situation. I feel really grateful that somebody like him exists and is a part of the 7 Cups community.
A very kind hearted, thoughtful and intelligent person.
Great and amazing listener
Quite good at providing support and emotional validation. And is also open minded and good at analysis
Literally one of the bestest listeners out there. Thank you for always being kind and making us laugh
Josh is the most amazing listener. The way he understands things that you tell him, when they don’t even make sense to you is crazy. He is so caring and patient. It feels so safe to talk to him. 7 cups was made a better place just by having someone like Josh here.
extremely helpful and attentive! an amazing listener on this website
QuietMagic is a great listener and is so compassionate and caring. I always feel heard chatting with them.
So compassionate and understanding. Asked good reflective questions and makes me feel heard and seen. Best listener so far!!
Spot on with understanding what I’m feeling. I feel heard
Active and attentive. Very insightful too
Attentive, Empathetic, Intuitive. Josh asks questions, but isn't intrusive, and really demonstrates investment in the whole conversation.
such a kind, friendly, non-judgmental listener. Josh is a very calm person to be around and is super kind. I love chatting to Josh. thank you for being ever so kind enough to let me spam you about nearly anything :D
QuietMagic has supported me for some time now and is so kind and validating. They take time to listen and support without judgement and I feel like they're always in my corner, which means a lot to someone with BPD. They regularly check in with me and I appreciate them so much. Thank you!
Dear Q, you are the most amazing listener and friend I've ever met on 7 Cups. I can't believe how lucky I am to have met you since my first day here. You are unique, truly one of a kind, and never failed to amaze me. I hope that you will always stay authentic and kind and sincere, and I pray that God will always bless you with everything that is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable—anything that is excellent or praiseworthy—throughout your life. Thank you so much for everything that you've done for me, Q, God loves you and so do I 🤍
Very understanding. Makes sure they know what I mean; doesn’t just assume or guess.
I'm not sure I can even express enough praise and gratitude for QuietMagic. Their mere presence in the Listener role is, I feel, a blessing in my life. If I could give 10 stars, I would. Thank you, QuietMagic, for being there. You truly make a difference.
Even with my jumbled thoughts, they're taking they're time to listen and help me.
I feel so understood. I can't express how amazing that makes me feel. Thank you thank you thank you
Really good so far. Listens really well, and is really friendly!
You will not be disappointed. Amazing skills!
Q shows great depth in understanding, and is able to make me feel like they really get it. They're very clear in their communication, and able to make sense of the stuff I say even when it isn't really clear or articulate. Something about their presence is warm, reassuring and in my experience, they are the furthest from imposing, that I have seen anyone be!
It was awesome chatting with Josh, would totally recommend!
Truly a magical, kind and understanding soul
A great brainstorming companion. A highly advanced yellow legal notepad. A friend in need. Josh is perfect 😊
I feel lighter after a talk with him. Thank you :')
Thank you for being the listener you are. Thank you for being a friend. Thank you for being you. You are one of the reasons why my life feels kinder, more colorful, and beautiful overall. Thank you for always trying your best to find me in the middle of my chaos. Thank you for always trying your best to give me a safe space where I can just be myself. Thank you for being the weighted blanket that warms me inside. And thank you for wanting to pray for me even when you aren't a religious person. I sincerely believe that God has sent you to me as a gift, a present that I will cherish forever, a blessing in my always-challenging life. I am grateful for you, Josh, I really do :')
We had a seriously religious chat today and at the end of the chat, I feel so much lighter. The chat itself doesn't really resolve anything but I got to explore myself to the depth I never thought I could reach. The important thing was that Josh didn't give up on me even when he's not a religious person at all. And that was more than I need. Thank you so much, Josh :')
my favorite listener of all time
Josh was a very good listener. Josh was nice, helpful. John chatted with for a long time to help me with my problem. Josh didn’t judge me. Josh understood me quick when I chatted my problem. Josh answered my question and gave me information on what to do with ocd. Josh is one of the best listeners. Josh had good grammar and words.
Josh is extremely passionate with listening. He wouldn’t even let me go until he made sure that I felt completely heard lol. He is funny yet empathetic at the same time. I never thought how someone could made me laugh and felt understood all in once, but that’s how Josh is haha. He’s made of special stuff and a joy to be around. I wonder what’s his secret is. What a unique listener. :0
Best listener on 7 Cups! No doubt about it!
amazing listener, really made me feel validated and cared for during a time where i felt none of those things. i'll definitely try to talk to them more in the future. thank you.
incredible listener. talked for so long about everything i needed to, just let me speak about everything and get everything off of my chest. validated me, didn't judge me at all. genuinely felt like talking to a friend. thanks
I am indebted to this listener...I don't know who he is nor he know me..But I want to thank him from the bottom of my heart fir listening to me....to the story of my mental struggle. He is helpful, friendly and trustworthy.. Thank You.
This person must be a surreptitious sorcerer! He listened very well, tried to understand my circumstances at his best, and saw things from my perspective. He answered my questions carefully and met my needs of being listened to, validated, and cared for perfectly. I found what I was looking for when talking to him. I have never met another listener as good as he is. Great job, QuietMagic; stay kind and sincere, and thank you so much for being a great help in time of crisis!
There's not enough word to describe how lucky I am to have Q as my listener. He is my safest place here on 7 Cups. And everytime I talked to him, I knew that I will be alright. He's that good, and I thank God for him always 💛
Q see things that I do not see. He says things that keep blowing my mind. I feel like finding my way out of a maze everytime I talk to Q in times of feeling lost. It just feels right; no more no less. Thank you so much, Q, words can't express how I admire you. Please stay safe, healthy, and happy, Q, and keep that magic in you 💛
Anyone reading, feel free to give them a boarding pass to your head ,I don't think I've ever had someone describe my own feelings so well , also better than myself lol. Thankyou for listening, you are very good at reflecting and validating emotions and I felt so understood and comforted . Thankyou, you're amazing at what you do. I'll keep bugging you now though. 🥺❤
Josh is -no doubt- the best listener here in 7 Cups. He is everything you ever wanted from a Listener. He listens attentively, rephrasing carefully, and validating your feelings in a non-judgmental way. The way he thinks is jaw-dropping, and He even gave me goosebumps -literally- with his words. So, thank you, Q, thank you so much. You have no idea how lucky I feel to have you as my Listener. I sincerely wish all the best for you; God bless!
Josh is literally the best. From the first message we exchanged, they were very thoughtful, kind, patient, and honestly just amazing. Every message they sent me has been honest, long, and I could tell they really thought it out. They even took time to read my bio and understand the type of support I was looking for. They didn’t offer any fake sympathy or tell me everything would be fine, they actually listened to what I was saying, reflected, and validated my emotions. They didn’t make any assumptions, and made sure they understood what I was telling them. They remained non-judgmental the entire time, and didn’t make me feel like I was overreacting or exaggerating. I also loved how they flawlessly included empowering sentences, without it seeming forced. I haven’t felt this safe for such a long time as I did with talking with them. Thank you so much Josh.
Josh is awesome. He's a pro. He knows exactly what he's doing in Listening. I don't have to worry about anything at all when I'm talking to him. Thanks, Josh, you rocked!
Listened actively. Understood issues and validated thoughts.
QuietMagic was there when I need him the most. He gave his time and a safe space for me to brainstorm on what my condition really is. He is ,without a doubt, one of the best listeners here in 7 Cups. So, I thank 7 Cups for Josh!
ABRACADABRA! Magic happens when Q is around! Thank you so much for listening to me attentively and carefully helping me to cope with my feelings. Thank you for being so patience and for trying to understand my messy situation. You even made me laugh; I really had a good time talking with you. Once again, thank you so much ❤
You're absolutely awesome. Thank you ♡
Q is simply the best. He listened attentively with great patience and always had the right words to say. I am so grateful to have him as my listener here in 7 Cups, and I sincerely wish him all the best because he deserves it. Thank you so much, Q, for being there for me when I need it the most. You really are magic!
Really empathetic, great insights, kind and supportive.
I was not able to feel better for sometimes and just experienced even worst situation last Thursday, but unable to vent it out. Until I met QuietMagic. And just like magic, his quietness helped me to be comfortable in myself, to feel at ease with my feelings and he made me believe that I was in a safe space. He's a great Listener, and he reminds me of what Rumi said: The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.
Amazing, thank you so much :) x
very nice chat it helped me out a lot
I was able to vent and talk about my problems. I feel less anxious.
They were great and friendly to talk to, really paid attention to what I was saying and clearly paid good attention and cared about givibg ne good feedback. Thanks :)
Very supportive and considerate. They were really there when I need someone to listen.
he's nice
Great
Thanks for your time
very good listener
Great :D
Awesome and chill.
Really cool
Very good in summarizing everything and making sense of your emotions for you. If you want some clarity as to how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way, contact him.
Great response time, very articulate
A fantastic person to talk to. They really care and will do all they can to help. I am lucky to have been able to talk to this person.
This listener is truly the most loving, gentlest listener I have ever ran across and is extremely caring and kind, is wise with their words and is extremely nonjudgmental and shows absolutely nothing but appreciation and love and admiration for you when they listen to you. I have never in my entire life talked to such a beautiful heart and soul and I would never forget quietmagic27 who has gone above and beyond to make me feel wanted and appreciated and cared for. This person is an absolute godsend. They are very rare and precious. And they have an absolutely amazing heart filled with nothing but pure love and joy for everything and for helping others. Thank you for all of your hard work and dedication quietmagic27. You will always have a place in my heart.
Was nice and polite and fast with their replies and was kind and understanding, I would recommend this listener for anyone who needs a listener over 25 years old.
You are a great person. Lucky to have chatted with you.
Had a good conversation. Was responsive and understanding. Asked me questions and gave me information to think about. Thank you! A good listener. :)
Is truly the most loving, gentlest listener I have ever ran across and is extremely caring and kind, is wise with their words and is extremely nonjudgmental and shows absolutely nothing but appreciation and love and admiration for you when they listen to you. I have never in my entire life talked to such a beautiful heart and soul and I would never forget QuietMagic who has gone above and beyond to make me feel wanted and appreciated and cared for. This person is an absolute godsend. They are very rare and precious. Thank you for all of your hard work and dedication Quietmagic. You will always have a place in my heart.
A wonderful, understanding, and patient listener!
Thank you for helping me, you were a huge help
Good listening skills
Great
Categories
Depression
Managing Emotions
Work Stress
Bullying
Eating Disorder
Panic Attacks
Anxiety
LGBTQ+ Issues
Parenting
Self-Harm
Sleeping Well
Breakups
Alcohol/Drug Abuse
Family Stress
Chronic Pain
Financial Stress
Weight Management
Exercise Motivation
ADHD
Bipolar
Domestic Violence
Forgiveness
Grief
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Perinatal Mood Disorder
Social Anxiety
Getting Unstuck
Loneliness
Student Life
PTSD
Disabilities
Relationship Stress
Borderline (BPD)
Women's Issues
Self-Esteem
Spirituality
General Mental Health
Autism Spectrum
Diabetes
Addiction
Cancer
Recovery
Sexual Health
Racial & Cultural Identity
Schizophrenia
Men's Issues
Dissociative Disorders
Adoption/Foster Care
Personality Disorder
Badges & Awards
123 total badges
Listening Ear Long Ears Magnet Sage PenPal Jester of Smiles Clerk of Bear Hugs Piper of Dedication Ellen Anxiety Depression Eating Disorders Managing Emotions Panic Attacks Surviving Breakups Traumatic Experiences Crisis Intervention Listener Oath ATL Work Related Stress Self Harm Sexual Abuse Alcohol & Drug Abuse Family Support Grad Cultural Diversity Verified Listener Bullying Chronic Pain Psychological First Aid Family Stress Sleeping Well Graduate Master Scholar Love Bug Featured Leader Refresher Voice Talker Communicator Speaker Orator Help Angel Relationships College Guide Loneliness Guide Test Anxiety Exercise Motivation ACT Therapy Affirmative Reflection Chat & Text Listening Ace Active Listening Startup Support Perinatal Schizophrenia People of Color Guide ADHD Social Anxiety OCD Boundaries Forgiveness Grief Managing Bipolar Managing Finances Surviving Domestic Assault Getting Unstuck End of Year Award 7Cups Guide Rocket Listener 12 Steps Community 101 Loyal Friend Tick Tock Fellow Friend NAMI Listener Steadfast Soul I Steadfast Soul II Steadfast Soul III Meet & Greet Proudly Proactive I Proudly Proactive II Proudly Proactive III Proudly Proactive IV Reconnection Hero I Reconnection Hero II First Community First Chat First Post Five Steps High 5 Hang 10 Open Door Weight Management Diabetes CBT Thankful Heart Gratitude Abound Hope Training Peer Pro Peer Training 01 Peer Training 02 Peer Training 03 Peer Training 04 Peer Training 05 Peer Training 06 Peer Training 07 Peer Training 08 Peer Training 09 Peer Training 10 Peer Training 11 Peer Training 12 New Mom Support Continuing Education Community Builder Grad Pineapple Tulip Personal Leadership 101 Personal Leadership 102 Becoming a Leader Leadership Principles Leadership Graduate Alumni
Report an issue