Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Feel better with online therapy Professional, confidential and affordable. Start today
RLKC2019
93 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2021 Member sinceMarch 4, 2020
Bio
Recent forum posts
RLKC2019 profile picture
husband drinking again
Alcohol & Drug Addiction Support / by RLKC2019
Last post
 September 18th, 2021
...See more I have been married for 4 years and we dated 2 years. When we met, he was 4 years sober from alcohol. He has had a few occasions that he drank when we went out for a social event. I don't drink at all, mostly because I want to support him in sobriety and I don't feel like I should drink if I ask him not to. Plus, I just don't like getting buzzed or drunk. Some times, he has just a beer or one or two drinks. But, a handful of times, he has gotten blackout drunk. I finally told him that I don't want to be around that because it increases my anxiety. I told him that it wasn't me trying to control him. It is because he says mean things when he's in that state and he has become sexually aggressive at times. I have never been a big drinker, so I don't know much about AA or the 'rules'. He has been in AA off and on for 30 years. (we are in our early 50's). He has many excuses on why he can drink.. For example- He needs to have a beer to relax after work He can have just a few drinks and it is no different than our friends who drink. I told him that I odn't know how those people are at home when they get drunk. There is a big family weddig coming up and they are all huge drinkers. I'm dreading that weekend. I don't know what to do or say to him about it. But, if he gets blackout drunk again, I want to tell him no more drinking at all and I don't want to be around it. Any suggestions on how to handle this? This is a pretty serious topic for me and our marriage.
RLKC2019 profile picture
Step daughter and helping grandkids
Relationship Stress / by RLKC2019
Last post
 September 11th, 2021
...See more My step daughter is a single mom to 2 kids (ages 3 and 4) and has another on the way in April. My husband and I don't agree on financially helping her. We take the kids once a week overnight and sometimes on the weekend. In my opinion, she doesn't do enough to support her kids. She works for my husband and doesn't work all of her hours. If it was any other employee, I'm sure she would have been fired by now. She quit for 2 months around June because she was depressed. But, she went back to the same job working for my husband. She doesn't make a lot of money, which allows her to get government assistance for daycare. She has a cosmotology license and can make a great living by doing hair and she's very good at it. But, she just doesn't want to. In my opinion, she needs to do what is needed to financially raise her kids. I feel like she is always getting bailed out. She has a company car to drive and now she needs an SUV to hold 3 kids. Her grandparents are very wealthy and bought her a trailer to live in, but now she will need a house. I may seem cold, but I don't feel like she learns any lessons by being bailed out all of the time.. I feel bad for the kids, but if we continue to help bail her out, then she won't know how to budget or work harder to support her kids. The help that we do give is to give her a break at least one overnight a week. And, we are going to be paying for a private school for the kids and I'm not sure that we can afford it when they get to high school. My husband wants to help the kids as much as possible so that he can break the cycle of disfunction in the family.
Search more from @RLKC2019
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
6 total badges
Hand Shake First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Teammate
Report an issue
Considering therapy? Talk to a licensed therapist, wherever you are. Get started
Feel better with online therapy Professional, confidential and affordable. Start today