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Razorblade
2 1,509 M Little Steps 5
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts53 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2026 Member sinceDecember 10, 2014
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Trauma that has stuck with me any advice to move on and forget
Trauma Support / by Razorblade
Last post
 January 1st
...See more Hello I’m making a thread to ask the opinion of others for help to learn how to cope and move on from a traumatic life growing up with my father this is one of the memory’s that replays in my head and in nightmares one of my multiple reasons for my insomnia thank you for any tips There is a memory from when I was about 8 years old that has stayed with me very clearly and still affects me today. I don’t remember whether I got angry or accidentally kicked a hole in the upstairs hallway wall, but I remember my mom sending me to my room afterward. I was sitting on my bed crying, loud enough to be heard. My dad came home, changed, and sat down to eat. I was still crying. Suddenly I heard him slam his hands on the table, stand up, and walk down the hallway toward my room. He came into my room screaming, grabbed me hard by the back of my neck, dragged me down the hallway to the hole in the wall, shoved me onto my knees, pushed my face toward the hole, and repeatedly screamed at me to “look at the *** hole.” I remember feeling completely frozen and terrified. I stopped crying because I was so scared. He then took me back to my room, threw me onto the end of the bed, where I hit my back and head, slammed the door, and walked away. I remember sitting there the rest of the night in silence, unable to move, scared, and shut down. I cried internally but didn’t make any noise. I told a school counselor about this the next day, but nothing happened. This memory still plays in my mind vividly. When I think about it, I feel fear and panic in my body. I believe this experience contributed to my long-term anxiety, anger issues, emotional regulation problems, and trauma responses. I’m not sharing this to blame or attack anyone. I’m sharing it because this is how I remember it, and it continues to affect my mental health today.
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