RedBengalTiger Member Profile

...See more This past spring, I was really stressed out about school for no particular reason. I've always been one of, if not the best student in my grade, even having skipped a grade in the past. The problem is that it's rarely challenged me, and so last year I became extremely lazy, spending almost all my free time at home on my laptop and doing my work at what was often the literal last second - and I mean that in its intended use. I would sometimes not even do my homework in classes that allowed late turn-ins without penalty, but this built up to extremely stressful situations. It got to the point where I considered suicide, though I wasn't sure if I really meant it. I had decided that if I was going to do it, I would set it up so that it would seem to be a murder - I have no real explanation. I researched poisons and methods while making complex plans. The real thing were the pencils. I removed the lead from mechanical pencils and replaced it with a needle, which I wedged in so that it stuck out from the tip. At any given point, I would be carrying around between two and twenty of these in my pockets and school binders. I would sometimes stick these into my hands to create a 'magic trick' with the floating pencil, but I never did much more, nor did I get the gopher killer I had planned to buy. What do you think about this? Was I serious about any of it? I was depressed, among other things, and while I am doing much better now, it may come back if it was severe enough. Thanks for any help.

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