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Ricky5196
205 M Embraced 2
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2020 Member sinceAugust 12, 2020
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Bad divorce, new relationship, Struggles because of Ex-wife...
Relationship Stress / by Ricky5196
Last post
 August 12th, 2020
...See more Hello everyone. I've been struggling for almost a year now with some thoughts about my current relationship but to better understand what I'm going through I will open up about my ex-wife first. ive been married to my Ex-wife for 4years. The relationship was never what it seemed from the beginning. She has cheated on me multiple times, lied to me, manipulated me, abused me verbally, physically, mentally. She once through a phone at my face which opened me up and made me bleed. We have argued like crazy time to time. Over the months and years I began to just care less and less and begged and prayed for something to happen so I can just leave her. I'm not going to lie I was afraid to leave her at first because I was cared of being alone, being heartbroken and being sent to jail... she had told me once that she would tell the police that I raped her if I ever left her because me leaving her would "destroy " her so she had to take me down too. It wasn't an easy situation... I mean favors normally go with the women... one of the reasons why I feel resentment towards women. I feel they have so much power... anyways, I did end up having a son with her... all is well my mother has full custody of him. Thank god because my mother is an angel. I know he is in good hands with her. I have so much going on that I feel like I can't be there for him as much as I wanted to bet. Don't get me wrong we were really close when he was young... but I can tell that he has distant himself and I blame my exwife for putting me in this position. Before I got with my ex, I was very joyful and full of life. Ever since her I went downhill rapidly, I lost self esteem and I'm the type of guy that loves romance. I will buy roses and celebrate monthly anniversaries and do allot of spontaneous things but I was never appreciated. Finally after we both separated I had gotten with my best friend since high school, going on 8 years of friendship and 1 year in relationship. Although because of what I've been through, I get very jealous of my BEst friends past relationships. I get mad and jealous, I thought she would have had better respect for herself, I get mad and frustrated and scared of her cheating on me because she has had twice as many sexual partners than I thought and it scares me because that's allot. To me at least. Not only that but she doesn't show emotion... she says they're for weak people. So I get scared when I'm serious or nervous or quiet. I feel like she only wants to be around me when I'm happy. She literally shuts me out when I'm upset and that makes me feel like she doesn't care about me when I'm in that stage. It's not fair for me because I'm always there for her. And when she gets mad she says horrible things like she don't love me anymore or she regrets me or I complain too much. Her telling me I complain is me trying to talk to her... that's her definition of a complain. All I want for her is to hear me out for once. Also when we do talk she ignores me and doesn't talk back. I don't think she knows how to communicate at all. She says she will always be there for me but sadly I haven't seen it yet. im at that point where I don't know what to do
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