Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Talk to a licensed therapist Wherever you are, whenever you need support. Get matched
RubixComplex
314 M Embraced 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts44 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2023 Member sinceOctober 14, 2023
Bio
Recent forum posts
RubixComplex profile picture
First Time in a Long Time
Bipolar, Schizophrenia & Psychosis Support / by RubixComplex
Last post
 October 16th, 2023
...See more Disclaimer: I do not have Schizophrenia. I do, however, have schizoaffective disorder: bipolar type. It is not one, nor the other, alone. It is a combination of both. There is no schizoaffective tab, so I felt this forum to be the most applicable of the two. Hi! I'm Rubix and I am new to all this. Talking to someone in person, in private, is very different than posting online. This scares me a bit, to be honest. Since being diagnosed, I've gone through *** and back over and over again, mentally and socially. It was exhausting thinking I caught a break in reality, just to realize much too late that I never left that rabbit hole. I spent so much time terrified of myself. Terrified of the world around me. Somehow, whether it be god or something else, after years of regular torment, I was able to reclaim my conscious mind. Today, I still experience regular visual and auditory hallucinations. The difference now is I am able to decipher what is really there and what may not be. I have to constantly observe, compare and contrast, what I see or hear versus the rest of the environment. I have to ask myself things like, "Does that even make sense?", or "Is anyone else reacting to this?" This has turned me into the quiet person in the corner.. I used to be the life of the party. I don't know why these things happen to people. I know they say that life isn't fair, but this.. this feels like a different kind of punishment. I don't even know what I did. But hey, self-pity now aside, I am still here. My mental state is moderate and hopeful. I know I could have it worse, so I guess I'm reaching out to say thank you all. Sharers and Listeners, You are all helping in making this world a better place. Thanks for Listening, Rubix
Search more from @RubixComplex
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
8 total badges
Hand Shake Linked First Post Reaching out First Compassion Bundled Teammate Group Friend
Report an issue
Feel better with online therapy Professional, confidential and affordable. Start today
Talk to a licensed therapist Wherever you are, whenever you need support. Get matched