RubyRose29 Member Profile

...See more Me and my husband have been married a bit over a year. We’re in our early 20s. In the beginning all we wanted to do was sex sex sex. 3 months later I was pregnant. Around month 4 of pregnancy, we stopped having sex because of my low sex drive. And he turned to porn to satisfy himself. I didn’t exactly mind because I didn’t know how porn negatively affects your brain. Now I know... now I’m 4 months postpartum, and he still chooses porn instead of me. I’ve had my sex drive back since my 3rd trimester. So it’s been about 6-7 months since this problem started. We’ve maybe done it about 15 times since, give or take. It’s caused me to have depression and severe anxiety whenever I leave the house (and he’s alone at home and can go watch porn) or when he takes a shower. I’ve caught him many times and it’s almost like I have trauma because of this situation. I did plenty of research about how porn affects a part of your brain, reduces your want for physical sex with a real partner, and causes other issues like erectile dysfunction and what-not. I’m terrified of losing my husband that way. I don’t want us to be stuck in an unhappy marriage. We love each other. I know he does. But our sex life is making me suffer so much. It’s affecting me as a mother. I feel rejected, unwanted and not good enough. I feel like the pretty girls on the porn sites are better than me. I feel like my husband isn’t attracted to me. I’ve talked to him about this almost daily, yet he can’t seem to stop completely. He sees how much it hurts me. He sees how it destroys me on a daily basis. On the days we do have sex, I feel like everything will be okay after, but then he’ll go to porn right on the next day when he thinks I’m not paying attention. Also I feel like I’m almost forcing him to have sex instead of watching porn. He thinks because we did it once, it gives him the go-ahead to watch porn the next time he wants to “get it on”. He doesn’t even ask if I want to, no he just does it by himself. I’m getting so tired of this. I don’t feel happy anymore. And people have told me “it’s not just about sex in a marriage”. I know it’s not, but it’s a pretty big part of it, especially if you feel betrayal and no self-worth because your husband chooses the pretty girls online instead of his wife. This has been going on for too long, and I don’t know what to do anymore. Advice from anyone with a similar situation would be greatly appreciated.

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