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Runner587
384 M Embraced 3
PathStep 19 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2015 Member sinceJune 27, 2015
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Eating is freaking me out
Eating Disorder Support / by Runner587
Last post
 July 24th, 2015
...See more I'm healthy in general. I exercise probably more than most people do in a week and I do it in one day. 60 min, run 40-50 and walk or stretch 10-20 min 60 min lifting Standing at work and stairs rather than elevator 5-6 times a day I am recovered, I think, but then again not. I am usually pretty strict and can maintain a macro count all week and it seems I have one day a week I let go and have what I consider too much. Today was that. Bodybuilders would call it a cheat day. I would call it a binge I ate almost [calories edited by 24Help1] over my self regulated amount and I am feeling the guilt. I am feeling like I can feel fat cells just filling up and I'm going to be fat and gross and undesirable to my husband. My mind is reeling and I'm freaking out. I just want the control I used to have to be super good about only eating when I should and only having whay I should and not over doing it and big able to say no to almost everything. I don't want to gain. I want flatter abs. I want more from myself and since recovery started I have only seen myself let go and become fluffy. I font want to be fit fluffy. I just want to be fit and ripped. I am really hating my body and my mental attitude toward this all.
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