Eating is freaking me out
I'm healthy in general. I exercise probably more than most people do in a week and I do it in one day. 60 min, run 40-50 and walk or stretch 10-20 min 60 min lifting Standing at work and stairs rather than elevator 5-6 times a day I am recovered, I think, but then again not. I am usually pretty strict and can maintain a macro count all week and it seems I have one day a week I let go and have what I consider too much. Today was that. Bodybuilders would call it a cheat day. I would call it a binge I ate almost [calories edited by 24Help1] over my self regulated amount and I am feeling the guilt. I am feeling like I can feel fat cells just filling up and I'm going to be fat and gross and undesirable to my husband. My mind is reeling and I'm freaking out. I just want the control I used to have to be super good about only eating when I should and only having whay I should and not over doing it and big able to say no to almost everything. I don't want to gain. I want flatter abs. I want more from myself and since recovery started I have only seen myself let go and become fluffy. I font want to be fit fluffy. I just want to be fit and ripped. I am really hating my body and my mental attitude toward this all.
I feel you!! I hate eating i wasn't eating at all it got to the point where i found food all food gross and bland
I have a love hate with food and eating. It tastes good but I hate that I need it some days. I hope we both can find peace with food and not let it have power over us.
@Runner587 - You are definitely not alone in this, and I can relate to what you're saying. Because you are trying to become ripped, do you think it would help to keep reminding yourself that you need calories to build muscle and that strength comes from that? You said yourself that body-builders have a term for cheat days and that it is generally a normal thing there - what do you think makes you feel like it isn't okay for you to have one, too?
If you think it would help to talk through it all, you can always reach out to a listener here. Take care.
I think it's that I habe lived in caloric deficit for so long that eatig more or too muh is terrifying. I have improved with time and eaten more to suit my activity but even according to a trainer friend of mine I'm still not fueling enough for my activity but I have the fear of becoming fat. Always have. My family history is that most of my family is overweight but also tend to be more sedentary too which I'm not. I fear being like my mother who doesn't help with my disordered thinking to begin with.