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Sairita |
Listener - Master 9

Listener Rating
5.0 star rating

Hello! I'm a global citizen practically since birth. With all that moving around, starting from just a few months old, and some very imbalanced and unhealthy family dynamics, I struggled a lot with feeling isolated, ignored and excluded or singled out, both at home and with being 'the new kid' over and over again. I imagine that this is part of why I am particularly interested in the struggles of people who are minorities, since I have always felt a bit like an alien who landed from another planet, and I have lived in many different countries in my life, so I've always belonged to a minority group in some respect or other (whether it is to do with racialisation or religion or ethno-linguistic origin or migration status or multiple/intersecting factors).

I've lived in over half a dozen countries spanning three continents, and I didn't attend the same school for longer than 1-3 years until my undergraduate degree. The way I tried to avoid the risks of bullying was to escape into invisibility, and I have struggled a lot with how to balance this desire for invisibility with the need to be extrovert in so many aspects of life. The alienation I experienced due to a lot of mobility and always being the 'odd one out', both inside and outside the home, was also probably deeply rooted in and exacerbated by being autistic, but since I fell into the category of 'high-functioning' and was a cis-gender girl, the fact that I was non-verbal with strangers got labeled as extreme shyness. My condition was never diagnosed and I was streamed into 'gifted programs' for 'bright children'. Realising only after the age of 40, and entirely by accident, that I am neuro-divergent has helped me make an awful lot of sense of a lot of things that I could never understand before.

I have worked in different rights-based sectors (relating to minority rights, migrant rights, women's rights and gender equality, LGBTQI/SOGI rights, and other issues), and was a voracious reader from early childhood. I've also got extremely diverse friends from various walks of life, which has helped me to see things from many different perspectives and to empathise with those who have less power. I also grew up in a rigidly conformist, and rather judgemental and fairly socially conservative family/socio-cultural context, with some highly negative, extremely critical, perfectionist, and obsessively anxious parenting from both sides; despite all their good intentions, the way I was raised was probably a terrible environment for the socialisation of a weird little autistic kid. I can see the differences because my neurotypical sisters didn't end up with nearly the same levels of anxiety or depression or isolation that I did, so I reckon I was probably taking all that extreme anxiety and expert guilt-tripping very literally in ways that they were not.

Additional issues of guilt and loss have arisen out of my younger sister passing away from a terminal illness before she reached the age of 30. Due to all the imbalanced family dynamics, I wound up not having any kind of a close relationship with my siblings at all, which is another type of loss that I've had to accept, and one I basically bore the blame and responsibility for most of my life. I realise now that my lack of bonding or sororial relations had a lot to do with many factors that were not my fault and were completely beyond my control and that I must learn to accept what cannot be, and learn not to take on the responsibility for this 'absence' that others have sought to place squarely on my shoulders.

Somehow I have come through all this relatively functional and not nearly as unhealthy as I ought to be, though I've definitely got the scars! I think all of these experiences have helped me to see the world from many different angles and have made me a more accepting and empathetic listener. I hope I can be of help to others who have confronted some similar issues, and that volunteering here and engaging with others who seek to be reflective about their life challenges will inspire me to find the strength to forgive and to forget the need for validation and acknowledgement that I could never obtain.

 

Number of Ratings: 140
Number of Reviews: 38
Listens to Over 18
Languages English
Listener Since Apr 10, 2016
Last Active over 6 months ago
Gender Female
Progress Path Step 584
Cheers 82,769
People Helped 278
Chats 1,316
Group Support Chats 28
Listener Group Chats 33
Forum Posts 107
Forum Upvotes 114
Growth Path Timeline
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Feedback & Reviews
Amazing listener with empathy and a sound logical brain offering pragmatic solutions. She has inspired me to join as listener to give back to a community that has given me so much
Very helpful chat!
Very helpful
She's amazing. Thank you
Very resourceful!
She is really kind and understanding. And she really cares, which shows in her response time. Even when she's not available she will quickly send a message of comfort and an estimation when she will next be able to come online. After only a few chat sessions she feels like a true friend.
Sairita made me feel calmer just speaking with her... thanks for your help kind soul.
Wonderful to finally connect. Thanks for the excellent idea about a safety plan.
Thank you
Thanks for listening.
This listener has stood by me for months if not a near enough a year. She's not just listened but gone above and beyond to keep a check on me, offer advise, encouragement and even helped me through a daunting experience by literally staying with me the whole time. She has got to be the best listener on here and with me never having had any real luck in my life I at least feel lucky for having crossed paths with this lovely soul. Anyone who knows her is lucky to have her. Thanks baj 😘😉🙏
She asked questions to clarify things for for helpfulness
Gr8 dose of reality. She may not say what you want to hear, yes, but she may say what you *need* to hear.
Amazing
Really kind. Good listening ear.
exelent listener
Some WonderWoman there, that too would be an understatement.. i am glad i bumped into her.. felt good being heard after a long time.. was pretty insightful and helped me figure out stuff about my relation. Well spoken, Blunt, Thoughtful, pretty much all the cool adjectives. :) Nice to meet you man.
I'm glad you understand my situation because I'm afraid that people will judge me if I tell them about this.
Thank you for listening. You really helped.
Very much have enjoyed talking to this Listener. Very understanding.
Helped me a lot on a day when i really needed some help. I appreciate it greatly. Thank you
She is really understanding and straight to the point, helped me in many ways, I would really recommend this listener.
Nice listener ..
Amazing.
Best listener I've had!
Awesome
Good listener
Thank you Sairita. You are knowledgeable, intelligent and listen well.
Very insightful. She understands and hears very well. Highly reccomend her, just she made me feel heard and understood and what more could a girl want? Thank you. Appreciated very much.
Excellent listener. Has been a constant support throughout a very difficult time. Invested a lot of time in helping me work through things in my mind even when i didn't make it easy. Has probably just saved my life without even knowing it
She is a very good and kind listener, who gives good advice!
A great listener!
Very helpful , thank you very much
Good Listener
Smart, intellectual, and really relates
She was very responsive and objective, just what I wanted. She was there for me.
She was great
she is incredible
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