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Sakul
4 1,920 M Hopeful Heart 1
PathStep 19 Compassion hearts72 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2026 Member sinceFebruary 6, 2025
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Relationship Issues Throughout Life
20 & Over / by Sakul
Last post
 July 26th
...See more Hey everyone, I've been feeling pretty down lately so instead of dwelling on it I decided to reach out and make a post. I'm looking for anything really; advice, encouraging words, relatable experiences. I'd like to hear some feedback and thoughts! It's a bit difficult to know where to start, so I'll give a little backstory haha I grew up in a very VERY small town (13 people), and my earliest memories hold a lot of isolation and loneliness. So It was never easy making friends, let alone meeting someone for a potential relationship. I'm 26m now, holding a good job and plenty of great friends who I can talk to, but they've all been in relationships consistently and can't quite understand my problem. I've gained some pretty heavy trust issues over the years of trying to find someone. It takes me a long time to build up my comfort level, and I carry a lot of shame surrounding my limited experience; especially with sex, and the ways I've coped with it. Somedays I feel okay and hopeful, but the majority of the time I struggle with a wide range of self depreciating thoughts. I feel like I've been so crippled in my ability to connect with people from my upbringing and only dug myself deeper with habits. I hold an underlying feeling that I've broken myself to the point where there's no one who wouldn't run once they got to know me. I wouldn't blame them, I hold a lot of baggage I've been trying to fix by myself because in the past I've tended to show too much of it hoping for something comforting, but that's a lot of pressure to put on someone else. I believe I'm either anxious attachment or fearful avoidant. So I've been trying to do work within that frame, I notice a lot of patterns and rooted thoughts, but it's difficult to have changes take affect haha I'm not sure what the next step for me is other than just trying to block it out and live through it. I'd like to be the best partner i can for a future relationship, is there any advice that could help me reach this?
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Decision regret
Relationship Stress / by Sakul
Last post
 April 24th, 2025
...See more I've been having some bad anxiety around cutting contact with someone. It's been about a month since we stopped talking and I've been wanting to reach out again. During the time we talked I got attached, but thing's weren't growing as quickly for her. We talked about being friends for a while, and during that time the time between her replies got longer and longer, which spiked my anxiety and resurfaced a lot of issues. Half of me wants to sit with my decision, because I might feel like a lack of self respect/cause trouble for her. The other half took the time apart and used it to realize all of the things I was doing wrong/what my issues were. I still don't think I'm mentally healthy enough yet to talk to them again, I'm afraid that I'd feed into the issues and cause trouble for the both of us. But I do miss just talking to them.
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