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Samantha153
159 M Embraced 1
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2021 Member sinceMarch 1, 2021
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Unpleasant memory
Trauma Support / by Samantha153
Last post
 March 1st, 2021
...See more I was emotionally abused by my dad’s sister’s family for 6 years. There were worst things that happened but this specific event is easy to describe. I was probably 7 or 8, my cousin raped me. The worst part is I pretended to be asleep as it happened. I still have a lot of questions in my head right now about that incident but I’ve been afraid to think of. Because it makes me feel disgusted with myself. Anyhow, this is weirdly not as bad as when everyone in that house all went to a concert one night while leaving me, still 8 or 9 to stay in that house alone. All the cousins, the nephew that’s younger than me, the aunts and uncles even the maids. All went to the concert. But I was left alone in that house. That feeling feels much worse than the rape for some reason. It’s like I shouldn’t exist. Like my existence brings them such discomfort.
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Simple conflict
Trauma Support / by Samantha153
Last post
 March 1st, 2021
...See more Recently, my friend seems to have prioritized another one of her friend over me. I am angry at myself that at age 22, I’m unable to confront her or deal with my hurt feeling. All I want to do is cut her out of my life even though it is such a small problem. I’m worrying that I’m unable to form any meaningful friendship with anyone because I keep cutting them out of my life whenever there’s a conflict. I know that this reminds me of the many people who have taken advantages of me in the past. The people who lied to me, sexually abused me and taught me to not talk back to them or go to my parents for help. I am reminded of the feeling of being taken advantage of. The feeling of being completely helpless.
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