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Seacook
107 M Embraced 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2018 Member sinceFebruary 3, 2018
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Driving my partner away
Depression Support / by Seacook
Last post
February 3rd, 2018
...See more My boyfriend doesn't often talk about his feelings, and gets uncomfortable when he does. I need to talk more often, but I struggle to find ways to engage with him. He has been snapping at me frequently because his job is stressing him out, and I tried to let it roll off and not nag him about it. When I look at the situation clearly, I don' think he realizes he is doing it, and I don't believe he is trying to hurt my feelings. But not talking about it made the situation worse and we had a fight. Usually when this happens, he is very sensitive for a day or two, then we go back to old patterns of me not saying anything when I am upset and him assuming I am fine. Or when I do try to talk about a small issue, i do it in an irritable way because I am already assuming he doesn't want to hear it. Then he sort says "Yes dear" and doesn't have an actual conversation with me about whatever the issue is, and nothing gets better. It always ends in a fight where my reactions to things that bother me end up being far worse than anything he said or did. I don't know how many more of these episodes we can make it through. I want to find a way to make him understand that having more frequent talk about feelings will probably help to break this cycle and make our relationship stronger. He recently told me that it seems like when things are going well I sabotage them. That surprised me because I thought it was fairly clear that things were not going well. I'm sure this all sounds very scattered, but I feel like my next move could make or break our relationship and I am scared of losing him.
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