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Secretpreacher
1 422 M Embraced 3
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts36 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes14 Current upvotes14 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceFebruary 7, 2023
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Im scared I can’t keep him safe
Family & Caregivers / by Secretpreacher
Last post
February 16th, 2023
...See more What if something happens again? And I’m not there to make sure he’s safe and cared for??
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Secondary trauma???
Trauma Support / by Secretpreacher
Last post
February 19th, 2023
...See more My boyfriend of two years, whom I live with, recently got hit by a car (a hit and run) while walking on the side of the road to come visit me at work. He did not die, only received a few mild injuries, a concussion, and a compound open broken right tibia. He had to undergo surgery and I spent 3 nights and 4 days watching them pump him full of meds that scared him, made him uncomfortable, and all I wanted to do was take everything away from him. So he wouldn’t suffer because he didn’t deserve it. when I arrived at the initial scene the cops were everywhere, the ambulance had just arrived and I felt like no one would tell me what had really happened. All I saw was his pale face and a puddle of blood on the street where he once laid. Part of me feels so traumatized by that. I can’t leave his side, I can’t sleep, I feel like I need to be right there at all times because I couldn’t before. I constantly have attacks thinking about him screaming in pain on the road with no one there to comfort him. I feel like I have no place to feel the emotions I do because what happened was damaging to him, it shouldn’t be to me. But also the strain that taking care of him has on me. I love him and I would do this and more if he needed it but he’s so doped up on meds that it doesn’t even feel like him anymore. Which isn’t fair and I know that. I think I have a lot of internal guilt and fear that I’m dismissing because I need to focus on him. We haven’t talked about it because I know he will feel guilty. And he’s struggling enough as it is. help! Is what I’m feeling validated? Am I being selfish for mourning the past of our relationship? And the change it’s now going through?
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