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Senkimura
232 M Embraced 2
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2021 Member sinceAugust 8, 2021
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Trying with no success hurts
Anxiety Support / by Senkimura
Last post
 December 1st, 2022
...See more I've been trying to get a therapist for over a year--I don't need help/resources, I HAVE insurance that covers therapy, but every single number I call is disconnected, requires referral, is transphobic, or any other number of issues I've run into--and now just the thought of trying to keep going (ie, call more numbers) is triggering panic attacks. I don't know what to do, because I DO know what to do, but I can't do it anymore. And when I talk to people they just give me more numbers to call and I don't need that, that makes it worse!!! I feel like I'm going insane trying to get sane.
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How mad should I be?
Family & Caregivers / by Senkimura
Last post
 September 27th, 2021
...See more A week ago I was asked to leave my apartment by both roommates. We had an upsetting disagreement, and even though I apologized, I needed to get away, so I asked my aunt to pick me up. She agreed and drove an hour and a half, only to lecture me for an hour and ultimately leave without helping me, despite my efforts to make her understand. She told me she was disappointed I didn't have a job even though I'd lost my job that very morning, she was disappointed I didn't have a therapist even though I'm on several waiting lists, she wanted me to apologize to my roommates and go back, even though I already HAD and they just wanted some time. I ended up spending the night in the guest room of my landlord, whom I'm also EXTREMELY, extremely blessed to have as a friend. The next day I was able to collect myself and my thoughts, explain myself to my roommates and sleep in my own bed again. The one really good thing about her visit? It made me realize, later, that I spend too much time trying to justify myself to people who don't care, and I don't need to do that anymore. But now, a week later, my aunt texted me again. The first thing she did was send me a job in HER area, even though she's made it very clear she's not offering to room with me. She did not apologize for leaving me or not listening to me. I have no idea how to respond. I'm still so furious with her and dwelling on the event triggered a panic attack. Frankly, I don't want to be close to her after this. We're both adults and she's flaked out on me before, but never in such a severe, hurtful way as this. What should I say?
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