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Shiibaco
3,047 M Hopeful Heart 7
PathStep 20 Compassion hearts224 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2016 Member sinceApril 19, 2016
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Just a long rant about myself.
Personality Disorders Support / by Shiibaco
Last post
 April 27th, 2016
...See more I apologize for my English beforehand, it's been a long time since I last typed paragraphs in English and it's not my first language. I'm not sure where it all started, but I might have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) since I was little. Been diagnosed with it since February last year. But after knowing more about the disorder, I thought I might have it since I was little. (Trigger warning for bullying, suicidal thoughts, sexual harassment.) I've been bullied since I was 4 at school, and it continued until I was 16. I never did self-harm directly, but I had recurring thoughts on suicide (I still do, I'm 20 now). I remember nearly drowning on a pool because my classmates pushed me when they knew I couldn't swim. The teacher I went to for help started harassing me as well, it made me full of distrust of others and it went on without stopping until I was 16. I learned to shut down my emotions somewhere around the road. I moved away with Mum to another city where I attended high school, then went to study overseas and lived alone. I was glad I'm somewhere where no one knew about me but an incident triggered my memories of being bullied and ostracized and I couldn't bring myself to attend class properly for two years. I dropped out and went back to my country. Now I find myself stuck and unable to move on with life. Life is complicated. Thank you for reading this far, I just had to let it out!
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