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SimplePixie
89 M Embraced
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2019 Member sinceApril 21, 2019
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Was I even raped?
Trauma Support / by SimplePixie
Last post
 April 21st, 2019
...See more I'm afraid my sexual abuse isn't valid, because it happened five years ago when I was a high school senior so what if my brain can't remember it clearly or making things up. The guy was a person I didn't clearly break our dating relationship off with but we agreed to be friends if we broke up so I thought he realized it was over but we could still hang out since we were friends for years. I know I remember pushing him off of me several times, but I didn't yell, and I didn't want the title of being a rape victim attached to me so I just laid there and let it happen three more times after that over the course of two years. I'm scared to tell my mother because I don't want her to be sad or upset. The guy that I currently date knows, and he tells me that no one will be upset with me. But I'm now coming to terms with the fact about being a victim, so I'm constantly thinking about this. I don't want to talk about it with him more cause I feel like I'm seeking validation and I feel like he might get annoyed even though I know he won't. I'm just constantly having breakdowns in the middle of the day about this, I'm so conflicted about this and it's making me wish I just kept this feeling hidden in a box like I did for the past five years.
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