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Sonic2005
1 197 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts21 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2025 Member sinceApril 9, 2025
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Guilt
Depression Support / by Sonic2005
Last post
 April 20th, 2025
...See more I don't understand why I feel this way. I feel guilty for feeling how I feel, I'm painting myself as a bad guy. Constantly thinking I'm hated by everyone, although that's not the case. It just feels lonely, and desolate. Hopefully, I will feel better.
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Emotions
Depression Support / by Sonic2005
Last post
 April 27th, 2025
...See more Constantly, Im bombarded by thoughts. I'm sure this is nothing new to anyone. The fear of being alone forever, the fear of losing your friends, the fear of letting these thoughts control you. For me, it's gotten to a point where Its controlling me, how I act. Distancing myself from friends. I want to talk, but I find myself unable to conversate without feeling guilty, am I forcing them to talk to me? Do they even want to talk to me? I work unsociable hours, by the time I get home nobody is awake, I'm alone with my thoughts, nobody can escape that. Sometimes, or rather most times I crave attention and I feel guilty for this, I just want to be noticed although, I have nobody to notice me. Happiness for me is delusion, it wears off. It doesn't last longer than a few hours before I can't hold it anymore, restless nights and I'm sat on my sofa crying inside my head because, I physically struggle to cry. Anger builds up inside me and all I want to do is to punch something until it's gone, but that would never happen, and I know this. These feelings don't dissappear. These feelings, emotions, they aren't new. It's a build up of constant things, and whereas I'm struggling I know other feel the same. So instead of talking to someone, anyone. I would rather keep it in and not feel the guilt that follows. Why should I have the privilege to tell somebody, include them in my problems. I don't want that. (ironic considering I'm writing this very paragraph). My eyes, are constantly heavy. I can't enjoy anything no matter how hard I try, my body aches, and I just want to feel something new. Hopefully somebody can relate to this monstrosity of a paragraph
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