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SpainishPoppy
295 M Embraced 2
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts36 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes22 Current upvotes22 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2022 Member sinceJune 21, 2022
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Why are you -really- here?
35 & Over Community / by SpainishPoppy
Last post
 August 4th, 2022
...See more Is a question I ask myself when I go to a gathering or event I would normally turn down attending. You ever asked yourself that kind of question when accepting an invitation to a public outing? Do your issues (if you have any, not matter what they are.) Get in the way of you feeling like you can enjoy yourself? If so, why do you feel that way? I'll start; I have a bug that has been living in my head, I call it "Agoraphobia" and I have had a horrible time keeping it in check. I spent years turning down invitations to anime conventions and the like due to the idea of how many people and things would be happening there. Just the idea alone was enough to make me tremble and try to seek the comfort of my cat and a fuzzy blanket in a silent room. "Why would I want to go there? Only thing that will happen is I'll freak out and then everyone will judge me and make me feel worse for even trying to seem normal." After some time (a few years actually) and really looking into my goals in going. I decided to see about volunteering opportunities, because one convention I was interested in said they had a job for anyone even those with mental health concerns. I decided to take a job in the office, where there was the lowest amount of traffic and slowly told my bug to go away... it's still very much there, but my fight or flight isn't as bad as it was over 10 years ago... and I've made a lot of find memories from the time I spent working in the industry. So do any of you have a similar situation? Where you didn't think you could or should? And then found you were better for it?
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My first word was "Happy" according to my mother.
35 & Over Community / by SpainishPoppy
Last post
 June 23rd, 2022
...See more So, I usually sit silent and observe most groups I join no matter on what media, i am very introvertedso acts like this freak me out abd exhaust me. I have insecurity with sharing my views on any topic because everyone else seems to like to make me feel stupid or uneducated for thinking the way I do. Anyway back to the point, I know I am struggling, and after sharing a little with my stream chat, I was told to come here to 7 cups and find people that i might actually be able to vibe with because life is stressful for everyone, i dont want to air my dirty laundry live on stream and it's nice to have someone who can listen any time you need it without an audience. Happy to know I have a place I can belong, least I hope so. I am Misty, I am 37 this July and struggle a lot with my spiraling nightmare of an emotional life. Not for lack of trying but just sheer inability to find the correct string to pull, I suppose. Much like having the perfect push on a crane game only to find the object was stuck to the pillars all along! Shame on you crane game gods! *ahem* I mask alot of my insecurities with humor at my expense... I stream to an audiance of none, but enjoy it non the less...I am an avid survival gamer, with a reckless tendency to wander off even when I know it dangerous. And I don't care what anyone says Fortnite is still fun even in your 30s... 😆 I grew up to a military US father and a foreign mother... let's just say the fire in my belly sometimes gives me indigestion with all the passion I feel on a constant basis(emotions are strong with me) I find it hard to feel like I am a good friend, and have fears of abandonment and major trust issues. I find that people are usually only into a connection or friendship because they treat it like a business transaction and not a true bond. I shouldn't have to give you a gold star for letting me cry on your shoulder or hearing about your bad day. Just making that other person feel better should be enough. The cup of tea mentioning in the description of this group made me feel happiness, tea and coffee are big passions of mine... I'm not professional but im an avid enjoyer of many different kinds! I am terrible about writing small posts about myself, I get typing and I kinda just word vomit and over share. I've been told I'm way to honest and can be harsh, but like the horrid saying goes. "I do it out of love." Uhm... I have a 12 year old long hair chihuahua without a bottom jaw named Spencer and a sweet lil 11 year old long hair "Ruby" black kitty cat named Lil Ryuu. They are my whole world. ^^; Oh and I love conventions... very much and miss them abd working at them everyday. (Anime, Gaming, Table top! You name it in the Pacific North West? And I've probably worked for them at some point ) Thank you for taking the time to read this, I hope you enjoyed my embarrassing attempt to share about myself... and that your mug is always full!
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