Why are you -really- here?

Is a question I ask myself when I go to a gathering or event I would normally turn down attending.

You ever asked yourself that kind of question when accepting an invitation to a public outing?

Do your issues (if you have any, not matter what they are.) Get in the way of you feeling like you can enjoy yourself? If so, why do you feel that way?

I'll start;

I have a bug that has been living in my head, I call it "Agoraphobia" and I have had a horrible time keeping it in check. I spent years turning down invitations to anime conventions and the like due to the idea of how many people and things would be happening there.

Just the idea alone was enough to make me tremble and try to seek the comfort of my cat and a fuzzy blanket in a silent room. "Why would I want to go there? Only thing that will happen is I'll freak out and then everyone will judge me and make me feel worse for even trying to seem normal."

After some time (a few years actually) and really looking into my goals in going. I decided to see about volunteering opportunities, because one convention I was interested in said they had a job for anyone even those with mental health concerns.

I decided to take a job in the office, where there was the lowest amount of traffic and slowly told my bug to go away... it's still very much there, but my fight or flight isn't as bad as it was over 10 years ago... and I've made a lot of find memories from the time I spent working in the industry.

So do any of you have a similar situation? Where you didn't think you could or should? And then found you were better for it?