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StarryGirl2238
1 192 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts25 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2025 Member sinceJanuary 3, 2025
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Dissociation
Depression Support / by StarryGirl2238
Last post
 January 17th, 2025
...See more Dissociation is slowly ruining me I'm finding it increasingly harder to stay focused and get tasks done. I have no desire to do anything that is on my plate. This has also caused my plate to just get fuller and fuller and now I have so much stuff to do. I still have zero desire to do it. I try to start something and my lose focus almost instantly. My attention span is so bad lately. I can't even enjoy a TV show anymore. I just dissociate and watch my cat play or stare at the wall instead. I end up rewinding more than I watch. Sometimes it feels like my mind's just broken. My vision is dark and blurry a lot of the time. I go through the motions of cleaning the house to make it "look good" but that's about all I get done. Caffeine does nothing but make me tired. Eating protein has helped me gain energy but some days I feel like I can't eat/drink so that doesn't always help me. I have timers on my apps so I don't doom scroll all day but once the time runs out I just want to stare at the wall and do nothing anyways. So I don't know what I can change to stop the constant dissociation. I can't afford therapy right now, I know most people will suggest it though.  I feel like it's just infiltrating further into my life. I can't even have conversations without spacing out in the middle. And these are people I care about immensely. I have to ask them to repeat themselves over and over. I end up just feeling like an idiot or rude. I feel isolated by myself most of the time since I work from home and have an opposite schedule from my fiance and I have no close friends. Most the time. I just wish I could sleep all day to escape but my body doesn't let me sleep more than 6 hours. I feel like I'm trapped in my own personal ***, even though I'm very happy with the life I have right now. It's very conflicting and I don't understand why I can't shake this blurry fuzzy dissociating feeling. Thank you. If you've read this far, I hope you are well. <3
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