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StarsAllSeemToWeep
74 M Embraced
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2021 Member sinceNovember 7, 2021
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Lost and so tired of this life
Depression Support / by StarsAllSeemToWeep
Last post
 December 5th, 2021
...See more Not sure what I'm really doing on this site. I'm basically in crisis mode right now but I know if I call or go get seen, they're going to put me away for my "safety". We all know that if you get admitted, you lose basic human rights and they drug you in some hospital bed so you no longer have "real feelings". I'm at the point where the suicidal feelings are there all day long. I never eat food and always feel like shit. I haven't had a relationship or a meaningful friendship in years, over a decade. The only person in my life is my mom but she has dementia and the conversations have to be light as she gets confused easily. She's my only support and the only person in my life. I can't even really talk about my issues because she has so many of her own. I'm just so tired of living like this and just want this to stop. I'm tired of hurting and I know that deep down there is something wrong with me. How else can you explain being 43yo and not have anyone really care or even want to be in your life? I no longer see the point of this as the pain is outweighing any benefit of trying to stay around. 8 billion people in this world and I'm going to end up dying alone in the woods and not one person will even know I'm gone, let alone miss me. 30 years of severe depression is finally winning.
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