Lost and so tired of this life
Not sure what I'm really doing on this site. I'm basically in crisis mode right now but I know if I call or go get seen, they're going to put me away for my "safety". We all know that if you get admitted, you lose basic human rights and they drug you in some hospital bed so you no longer have "real feelings". I'm at the point where the suicidal feelings are there all day long. I never eat food and always feel like shit. I haven't had a relationship or a meaningful friendship in years, over a decade. The only person in my life is my mom but she has dementia and the conversations have to be light as she gets confused easily. She's my only support and the only person in my life. I can't even really talk about my issues because she has so many of her own. I'm just so tired of living like this and just want this to stop. I'm tired of hurting and I know that deep down there is something wrong with me. How else can you explain being 43yo and not have anyone really care or even want to be in your life? I no longer see the point of this as the pain is outweighing any benefit of trying to stay around. 8 billion people in this world and I'm going to end up dying alone in the woods and not one person will even know I'm gone, let alone miss me. 30 years of severe depression is finally winning.
Don't let it win. You have the power to control you. I knoe that things are hard very for because of depression I get it. But as for your mom I'm so sorry to hear that she has that. Just try to stay strong for your mom. It can be very hard to talk about your issues. But this site is amazing and is always safe to talk on here.
Hello. I hope you’re feeling better. Trust me, I know depression is hard. Sending u love & light.
@StarsAllSeemToWeep
I'm sorry that the one person you have has dementia and that you can't talk about your feelings. I know severe depression is really hard on people. I know you feel like you're all alone but you really aren't and 7 cups cares. We want you here. Even if it feels like nobody cares at least I do. I wish I could tell that life will get better and it will it just takes time. You're worth the fight. You can get through this. Don't let your depression win. It doesn't have the right to. I know it feels really gloomy but there is that small spark in you that will get you out of this. I really hope you care for yourself and stay safe. I care you are loved and worthy at least to me a complete stranger. Hopefully this made you feel better.
I am sorry you are struggling and sorry your mom can no longer be your support system. I am also sorry you are hesitant to seek help. Only you know for sure how fragile you are right now so please be careful and try and be honest and seek immediate help if you feel the need. You are not alone. You have everyone here
