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SummerL
525 M Embraced 4
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2020 Member sinceMay 14, 2018
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Strong Abandonment Fear
Personality Disorders Support / by SummerL
Last post
 August 23rd, 2019
...See more Hello. Im new on here and have been looking for a listener for this topic but havent taken the step of starting a conversation yet. The strongest symptom of my BPD is the fear of abandonment. I am extremely manipulative. I have not let my boyfriend do plenty of things because of how badly Id panic and theres been times he hid innocent things from me because he didnt want to scare me over something thats small to him and others (such as going out to eat with his parents, having a friend come over, didnt tell me he talked to someone in class, and so forth..this is mostly when we were younger, about 13-16, we are 21 now) My fear is so severe that Ive gone to many extreme lengths to prevent him from doing things. I hate that I do this to him and myself. He understands better now (8 years together) and for the most part does not do things Im uncomfortable with anymore (we live together now too). But I hate how I am. Im terrified of him even having a cell phone, Im terrified of him going to school... I try so hard not to panic over such normal things and I try not to accuse him without any evidence or reason to worry. I hate what Im doing and dont know how to fix it besides baby steps and changing my thoughts but dont know where to start. Do you go through this? Have you gotten help? I currently do not have a therapist but am on a waiting list for one, so I came here.
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Selective Mutism - Can
Anxiety Support / by SummerL
Last post
 July 13th, 2018
...See more Does anybody else here have Selective Mutism? (an anxiety disorder in which a person who is normally capable of speech cannot speak in specific situations or to specific people - from Wikipedia) If so, when/where does it effect you? Have you gone to therapy for it? Have you been able to get a job? Ive been struggling with it since I was about 4 years old. I can only speak in a whisper to most people and cannot speak at all to most of my family members.
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