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SuperCreativeUsername
122 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2018 Member sinceApril 15, 2018
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I'm in limbo
Depression Support / by SuperCreativeUsername
Last post
 September 11th, 2018
...See more I feel really lost at the minute. My depression has got so much worse in the last week or so. I've had suicidal thoughts most days, and I went through a thing of cutting multiple times a day. I feel so bad. My gf has to deal with my problems every day. She has to see the scars, the fresh cuts, the words I've got on my legs that aren't gonna fade for a long time. Goddammit I've still got "LEAVE ME ALONE" on my legs and that's been there for months... I feel like I'm insane sometimes. It's like I've got this dark voice in my head that's always telling me to do bad things. It's always telling me that I should cut instead of looking after myself, and that I'm not good enough and I'm better off dead. And I can't help but hate myself- after all I'm in the wrong body and I can't get gender therapy for months. And even then it's way more than I can afford. I don't know how to keep myself sane anymore. It's like my little hopeful voice has been locked away and it's being taunted and silenced by the dark voice. And it doesn't help that I'm basically homeless at the minute. My mums letting me live with her for now, but long term I've got nowhere to go. I can't go back to my dads, he scares me and he takes his problems out on me. I know I'm not good enough and I don't do things right but I'm tryin. Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough.
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Aftercare for self harm tips
Depression Support / by SuperCreativeUsername
Last post
 March 13th, 2019
...See more I hope I'm posting this in the right place, and I also hope it'll help someone. I've recently had another relapse, it was pretty bad this time and I've been self harming frequently. However I'm now trying to look after myself again and thought I might share some ways to look after your scars, for those looking to heal rather than hurt again. (I'm in no way a medical professional and this post is mostly aimed at those who cut, so take my advice with a pinch of salt) First off- if you think your cuts are very deep and that they need stitches, please please please call your emergency services! Second, if you really find yourself needing to do this, please use a clean blade. It's easier to give advice than take it because I suck at using clean ones, and it's a miracle I've not got any horrible infections because of it. If it's rusty or dirty, don't use it! Another important thing: make sure you've had a tetanus shot! I believe you're meant to have them every 10 years? For when they're healing- give them plenty of air. They'll heal a lot faster if they're not wrapped in a bandage 24/7; obviously if you need a bandage because you've done some severe damage this probably won't help. But when you're alone, wear a t-shirt/shorts if you can. Use an antiseptic cream. Not only does this reduce the chance of cuts getting infected, it speeds up the healing process. It will sting more the fresher they are, so you may want to wait a bit until they hurt less. I find sometimes rubbing the cream in the same direction as the cuts hurts a bit less? Bio oil and other scar stuff like that is good for reducing the appearance of scars. Start using this when the cuts have mostly healed; don't use it on fresh wounds. Unrelated to healing slightly, but if you're planning to kick your habits like I am- throwing away your tools can really help. You may not feel like your ready, but it can actually be a relief and reduces the temptation. If you can't bring yourself to do it, ask someone you trust to throw them away. Once you throw them away, you have a bit more time to stop yourself from doing it. If you have any other tips feel free to leave them below, and please correct me if I've got anything wrong.
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