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Tangerine467
4 696 M Little Steps
PathStep 24 Compassion hearts32 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2026 Member sinceNovember 4, 2020
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She/any

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Chronic migraines and depression are a fun combination
Depression Support / by Tangerine467
Last post
 August 14th
...See more Feeling miserably lonely and losing the will to live has to be more common in people with chronic pain than it seems like or I’ll just go insane. I wish I could brush it off but I just get, more miserable and frustrated at myself and the world the more it hurts. I don’t have it in me to be strong and excel at anything, or try for brief moments of fun just to be miserable and in varying levels of pain most of the time and feel like passing away every week when my migraines decides to destroy me all night and crush any hope. Life is exhausting and soul *** enough even when I’m not in pain. I want to try to see the good in things, be grateful, have fun with friends and enjoy life and want to do things like maybe I used to. But I don’t know. I’m tired. Nothing seems to be helping much but uhhh if anyone has advice for how to get through it anyways when you feel like this,,, not even necessarily the pain just, the lack of caring and exhaustion with life maybe. Dark humor is also the only thing a little entertaining these days. But I can’t share the worst of it out loud or whoever hears it might get awkward and I don’t have the heart to lie and say it’s just a joke. Whether jokes or stories no matter how bad or cheesy, dark humor that won’t make anyone call an intervention on me will help me as much as advice I think if anyone has any, a game that had the option to wish for stable mental health cracked me up
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First relationship/situationship, I’m so lost
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by Tangerine467
Last post
 March 3rd
...See more to elaborate it’s not the first time in a situationship ever, I’ve had crushes, though they were particular or brief situations that went nowhere and I’ve gone on one date but I realized very quickly I didn’t like him. So this is the first time it actually feels like it could become something real and I’m so, incredibly anxious and spiraling haha. It’s not her fault, she’s wonderful. We’ve been friends for a little while and I’ve always been very comfortable and maybe even felt a little bit of feelings? But I always squashed them deep down. But we got closer recently, hugs and leaning on each other and I was happy with that and content to be happy with that despite small small brief pangs of irrational jealousy that I knew wasn’t healthy so never voiced hahaa… anyways in the middle of thoroughly convincing myself we’re just friends she confesses she likes me, a part of it is there’s a chance we’ll dorm together next year(a situation I can’t even begin to figure out because this is already distracting me from the many other more urgent things I need to be taking care of when I’m not spiraling over this) so she didn’t feel it would be fair to agree to that without telling me. Which is fair. But we’ve been just friends for so long and she said she just likes being clingy with friends so I guess a part of it is I struggle to believe she really is interested in me or just really likes me as a friend? Even though she said she does. The other part of it is in confused about how I feel. For context I think I either have a very anxious or fearful avoidant attachment style, I had a really rough relationship with my family growing up and this being possibly my first relationship, it might have resurfaced a lot of that stress. It’s so bad that for days after she confessed I was so anxious I felt I don’t have any feelings for her and just wanted to run away but didn’t want to hurt her so I just spiraled and broke down crying. I’m still fighting conflicting urges to reach out and get closer or stop reaching out at all over fear which I know is awful and she deserves better. I love being around her and I care about her so much, and I’ll have random fuzzy thoughts that I want to hold her hand or lean on her and get closer but as soon as she’s out of sight I withdraw, beat myself up over anything I did because Im also scared of the relationship progressing and all the ways it could go wrong and the ways I’ll hurt her, so scared I suddenly want to just give up and not try at all. I’m scared to text her or do anything to indicate I’m more confident in my feelings than I feel I am just because I want her to be happy. In like a, I like making people I care about happy so I feel pressure from myself to express more interest in her despite how unsure of my own feelings I feel because I don’t want to disappoint her with my confusion and withdrawal. I don’t want to disappoint or hurt her but I also hate how I feel like that’s leading her on. But I also don’t know how to help the relationship progress… normally? At a pace I feel comfortable with? Without feeling like we’re just… staying friends and acting like we’re still just friends because I do want to explore more with her, I just know she means a lot to me. It doesn’t help we both have many many roommates and pda makes my anxiety about all this worse. So I don’t know how I would get one on one time with her to build that intimacy like, comfortably.
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