Tenri Member Profile

...See more Do you ever feel like you want to just disconnect from the world? You just Isolate yourself from reality with series, anime, reading too much books or comics, or just playing videogames escaping from what real life it really is. Studying, working doesn't metter anymore. It's like there is a sort of mental barrier that doesn't make you think about real life because everything became too much and yes, automatically you just disconnect. Even if these activities you used to love so much, don't give you the same pleasure as they did before. It's just a copying mechanism now to not deal with real life. I did this for all my life. With ups and downs and now it feels like I'm stuck here again. Life lost all interest. I can menage to do everything, even to laugh but it doesn't have the same flavour it had before. But..one thing I can't do right now is studying. I'm in my last year of a postgraduate course, I used to love studying so much even with all the anxiety I had. Now, this and everything else has lost its meaning. Why am I studying? Why I quitted my job a few years ago to start studying again? Why did I move again in this household where my parents live? Why am I alive in the first place? What am I doing with my life? Do I really wanna become a journalist? Why EVERYTHING lost all its meaning and I just don't wanna face all these questions again. I just don't wanna live. I just wanna give up. I just wanna sleep and never wake up, I just wanna live in some fictional world forever and ever. Everything is so gray. Everything is just a mix of depression and anxiety and I don't know how to deal with everything anymore. But the most important difference from the past is that it's like I don't wanna heal. I don't wanna fight anymore. I did it for a very long time and I am so tired.

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