Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
TheRedCanary
2,137 M Hopeful Heart 3
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts49 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2019 Member sinceJune 7, 2019
Bio
Recent forum posts
TheRedCanary profile picture
Depressed and lonely
Depression Support / by TheRedCanary
Last post
 November 30th, 2019
...See more As i get older, i realise the number of friends i have can be counted with 1 hand. Sometimes, it feels like i only have 1, or none at all. It started back in high school, when I lost my first best friend when she drifted away to new people. I felt lonely in a school where i felt i never belong. I grew up in a mostly Chinese community, but due to the nature of my early education, i don't understand Mandarin, which is what most of my classmates/college mates speak. Different language, different interests, different everything. After my first lost, i tried to make new friends. I made new best friends, but they all left, either drifted away to new people or shit happened and there's no room for reconciliation. I learned to be a better person, more honest and understanding, but it was never enough it seems. Last year, i met a new friend who became my partner. She's the best person I've ever known. That same year, i lost a childhood best friend. Again, i learned and tried to be better. Now, my partner broke up with me. She said we'd still be friends and hangout as always. I thought losing the relationship wouldn't be so bad if we could remain as buddies. But no. I tried to keep it together, but she drifted away. Losing her as my best friend has crushed me more than anything. I know friends are seasonal, but I've lost so many dear to me, often I'm left behind. It makes me think I'm not worth it. I'm depressed and lonely. I wish i have friends.
Search more from @TheRedCanary
Talk to an expert therapist
Smita is very kind and listens carefully. She has a calming aura and I am very...
Reviewed Aug 9, 2026
Talk to Smita Now
Badges & Awards
15 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Quintet Chief Chat Strong Start Milestone Reconnect First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Bundled Teammate Forum Friend Strong Bond I
Report an issue