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Trekkingbee603
1 55 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2022 Member sinceMarch 2, 2022
Bio

I am a Nomadic Traveler in the United States. Very passionate for outdoor recreation, and anything outdoor related. I live a chaotic but wholesome lifestyle with my three dogs. Though my life is in need of more clarity, as I struggle with high stress and anxiety. Which is honestly mostly caused by the structure I am trying to fill my life with, as in relationships, jobs, etc. 

Recent forum posts
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Over Coming Emotional Neglect, Triggering vulnerably anxiety?
Anxiety Support / by Trekkingbee603
Last post
 March 27th, 2022
...See more In mostly all of my core relationships (as family and partners) throughout my childhood/Early adulthood I've experienced emotional neglect. Which has created fear to be vulnerable with the thought of me being dramatic or too much. Or a burden. With Dealing with this from my parents throughout my whole entire childhood, it seemed to follow my in my past two serous relationships. I've recognized that these things are not what I deserve, and exited from these relationships. Though it still leaves the trauma and reactions that I still carry. I was single for many years taking time to heal and work on myself. Though this past year I finally felt I was ready to love again and put my heart on the table. A couple months in it all resurfaced. This partnership has been nothing but healthy, though little things will trigger and bring up feelings from the past.. and then I react. Which has created a pattern throughout this relationship that I get very anxious and intrusive thoughts. I feel I create problems that don't exist because I feel I am unable to have a healthy stable relationship, almost like I don't deserve it. Though I am deeply loved and cared for I am still not happy. We had to split up because the pattern was not resolving, and I needed space to resolve this trauma I am experiencing. I really don't want to loose this person, but I don't know what to do to make it better.
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