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TwoTimesAMom
455 M Embraced 4
PathStep 38 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2020 Member sinceFebruary 19, 2020
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My Ex is Released. (Still love him)
Relationship Stress / by TwoTimesAMom
Last post
 March 3rd, 2020
...See more I started dating my best friends brother in high school in 2010, we about 2 years in he started getting into drugs like weed at first and pills, then all of a sudden harder drugs and then his drug of choice heroin. This went on about 2 more years and he was in and out of jail. Well I also broke up with him everytime he went to jail because I'm not waiting around and I'd date other guys but still talk to him in jail. He'd only stay in there longest was a year. So once he'd get out I'd go running back to him. Well we were fighting constantly and then he started getting physically, mentally, and verbally abusive because he was just worried about getting money to get his drugs he would make lies to his friends to get money and if I didnt take him to get it then he would beat me up. Thankfully I never tried the drugs and never wanted too. (Hold on it gets more complicated to get me where I am, like what is wrong with me) So he started getting worse with the lying that he started robbing places and then he finally went to prison in 2013 and I went to see him and talked to him but of course I wanted to stay with this relationship because he was my first love. I always chose him. So all the times I'd talk to him he'd ask for money and that it and just nag over and over until I got sick of it and stopped talking to him after 3 years. I moved on with my life he still called and wrote but I didn't. So in june 2016 I started dating this wonderful man and then we had a baby and then we were expecting another one and decided to get married so by jan of 2019 we were married and a family of 4. (Which I was already severely depressed because both pregnancies were so complicated where I almost lost them multiple time and I was on bed rest both pregnancies the entire time.) Anyways about 2 weeks ago he wrote me and told me he was getting released and I knew I shouldn't have answered the phone but I was curious of if he changed over the years and how he was holding up because I still love him (not in love anymore) I still care for him but connecting with him was a mistake. My depression has been out of control I cry constantly over nothing because it is overwhelming. I love my husband and I know there is no life with my ex especially not knowing what will really happen with him with the drugs after hes been out awhile. So he got out Thursday night and text me on a phone and asked to see me and of course I'm going to say yes (even if I didnt want to I'm going to) then everytime I asked him to see me he came up with excuses and I didn't plan on getting back with him or even trying but I wanted closure because of our relationship and how it ended in prison. He claims to love me and wrote me and begged to see me but why when he finally can does he not. I have told him that i still love him and who knows what could happen down the road but now hes ignoring me and not talking but he did it constantly in prison. I just dont understand and I am stuck
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