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Umbrella11
88 M Embraced
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2021 Member sinceJuly 25, 2021
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Maybe i got in too deep with my first relationship
Relationship Stress / by Umbrella11
Last post
 July 25th, 2021
...See more I'm new here and don't really know how this whole thing works, but prepare for a novel. (I should mention that my girlfriend and I live 30 minutes apart and we don't get to see each other super often) My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 months now, and it was earlier this month that I began to notice something strange was going on. She stopped texting first and only really responded to me when necessary, and even then the responses were rarely longer than a sentence or two. She had told me earlier that she was struggling with minor depression, so I assumed it had been getting the best of her. I kept texting her and tried my hardest to support her and help her out, despite being on vacation and not actually able to physically be with her. Little did I know, I was making her situation worse. Fast forward to earlier this week, the few-and-far-between responses were starting to take their toll on me, I had no idea what was going on with her. This morning, she texted me about a problem she'd had with her parents, and looking back I didn't respond very well at all... I kinda just went like "yeah that happens to me sometimes lol" I realized how much of a jerk-ish response I gave after she pointed it out and I kind of freaked out... She was basically my only support and I obviously couldn't ask her what to do so my mind started racing and I may have left her a bit of a rant note. The gist of the note is as follows: "I have a problem where I constantly exaggerate my problems and make everything about myself, but I feel like if I tell anyone about my problem, I'll exaggerate about my exaggeration problem... I'm sorry if I'm freaking out too much or hurting you" It was a lot longer and more dramatic than that though... And what she said next confirmed my fears; she told me that the reason she was acting so distant was because I was constantly making her problems about me and putting her down... I really didn't mean to do it... I never knew I was doing it as much as I was... I was trying to help her through her sadness but in the process just kept putting her down After that she said that she wants me to talk to my parents about therapy and that she wanted a break until I did that. I've never really been emotionally very close to my parents, I of course love them, but I usually never talk to them about very deep or emotional things, so talking to them about therapy for a problem they don't know exists is terrifying to me I still love her and I want to try and fix this problem, but I don't know where to start. Thank you for reading that, I'm sorry if it's too much lol Any help or comments would be greatly appreciated
Umbrella11 profile picture
Maybe i got in too deep with my first relationship
Relationship Stress / by Umbrella11
Last post
 August 28th, 2021
...See more I'm new here and don't really know how this whole thing works, but prepare for a novel. (I should mention that my girlfriend and I live 30 minutes apart and we don't get to see each other super often) My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 months now, and it was earlier this month that I began to notice something strange was going on. She stopped texting first and only really responded to me when necessary, and even then the responses were rarely longer than a sentence or two. She had told me earlier that she was struggling with minor depression, so I assumed it had been getting the best of her. I kept texting her and tried my hardest to support her and help her out, despite being on vacation and not actually able to physically be with her. Little did I know, I was making her situation worse. Fast forward to earlier this week, the few-and-far-between responses were starting to take their toll on me, I had no idea what was going on with her. This morning, she texted me about a problem she'd had with her parents, and looking back I didn't respond very well at all... I kinda just went like "yeah that happens to me sometimes lol" I realized how much of a jerk-ish response I gave after she pointed it out and I kind of freaked out... She was basically my only support and I obviously couldn't ask her what to do so my mind started racing and I may have left her a bit of a rant note. The gist of the note is as follows: "I have a problem where I constantly exaggerate my problems and make everything about myself, but I feel like if I tell anyone about my problem, I'll exaggerate about my exaggeration problem... I'm sorry if I'm freaking out too much or hurting you" It was a lot longer and more dramatic than that though... And what she said next confirmed my fears; she told me that the reason she was acting so distant was because I was constantly making her problems about me and putting her down... I really didn't mean to do it... I never knew I was doing it as much as I was... I was trying to help her through her sadness but in the process just kept putting her down After that she said that she wants me to talk to my parents about therapy and that she wanted a break until I did that. I've never really been emotionally very close to my parents, I of course love them, but I usually never talk to them about very deep or emotional things, so talking to them about therapy for a problem they don't know exists is terrifying to me I still love her and I want to try and fix this problem, but I don't know where to start. Thank you for reading that, I'm sorry if it's too much lol Any help or comments would be greatly appreciated
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