Maybe i got in too deep with my first relationship
I'm new here and don't really know how this whole thing works, but prepare for a novel.
(I should mention that my girlfriend and I live 30 minutes apart and we don't get to see each other super often)
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 months now, and it was earlier this month that I began to notice something strange was going on. She stopped texting first and only really responded to me when necessary, and even then the responses were rarely longer than a sentence or two. She had told me earlier that she was struggling with minor depression, so I assumed it had been getting the best of her. I kept texting her and tried my hardest to support her and help her out, despite being on vacation and not actually able to physically be with her. Little did I know, I was making her situation worse. Fast forward to earlier this week, the few-and-far-between responses were starting to take their toll on me, I had no idea what was going on with her. This morning, she texted me about a problem she'd had with her parents, and looking back I didn't respond very well at all... I kinda just went like "yeah that happens to me sometimes lol" I realized how much of a jerk-ish response I gave after she pointed it out and I kind of freaked out... She was basically my only support and I obviously couldn't ask her what to do so my mind started racing and I may have left her a bit of a rant note.
The gist of the note is as follows: "I have a problem where I constantly exaggerate my problems and make everything about myself, but I feel like if I tell anyone about my problem, I'll exaggerate about my exaggeration problem... I'm sorry if I'm freaking out too much or hurting you"
It was a lot longer and more dramatic than that though...
And what she said next confirmed my fears; she told me that the reason she was acting so distant was because I was constantly making her problems about me and putting her down... I really didn't mean to do it... I never knew I was doing it as much as I was... I was trying to help her through her sadness but in the process just kept putting her down
After that she said that she wants me to talk to my parents about therapy and that she wanted a break until I did that.
I've never really been emotionally very close to my parents, I of course love them, but I usually never talk to them about very deep or emotional things, so talking to them about therapy for a problem they don't know exists is terrifying to me
I still love her and I want to try and fix this problem, but I don't know where to start.
Thank you for reading that, I'm sorry if it's too much lol
Any help or comments would be greatly appreciated
From what you wrote, i learn that your girlfriend of 5 months had been distancing herself from you for about a month. You tried your best to help her despite being on vacation which i appreciate! However, things started looking down when she told you about a problem she had with her parents and you didn't response in the best possible way. Hmm, she then told you that she's been distancing herself from you because you tend to make everything about yourself. Well, I can see that you really care about her and that saying things like that just comes naturally from you. I'm sorry that it has created this problem for you! I'll bet that's very challenging, especially when you have to talk to your parents about therapy. As someone who's emotionally distant from their parents, I completely understand your difficulties here. The thought might make you feel really anxious. But again you've gotta do something to make sure you're not saying the wrong things to your girlfriend. I get that it really matters to you. (:
I hope you can increase in self-awareness and that things get sorted out for both of you. (:
I'll end with this quote -
A relationship doesn't last for its good times. It lasts because the bad times were handled with love and care.
