VioletRR Member Profile

...See more I don't really know how to use this site but I really just want some help or some advice. I turned 18 rlly recently and I know this is an area for older adult only but I want advice from older people, people my age don't usually know what's best for me. I've been thru alot my whole life, abuse, being exposed to horrible stuff online, grooming and molestation. Recently I've been feeling better and I'm happy but I have times when I'm alone where I really upset and just feel rlly sick. My dad groomed me throughout my childhood and Molested me too. He stopped when I was 10 and he doesn't know I'm aware of what he did, he thought I was too young to remember or that I was asleep. Today, he's like a saint. He's extremely caring and always gets me snacks and takes me and my brother out to have fun, we have great genuine conversation and he just literally seems like a loving and caring father. He's nothing like be used to be. I try to blame his old behavior on a brain injury he had. Lately I can't stop remembering what he did to me, even if he's a great dad no, i remember what he did and I feel angry and sick. I don't know what to do. I'm going to therapy soon but I know I won't be able to tell them this. I want to stay with my dad because I know my life will only get harder if I live with my mom, she's disabled and never takes us out, she can't even clean or go outside. I just want advice on what I should do or feel. I hate my dad for what he used to do but I love Him for how his is NOW. Should I want to be away from him? Or is it okay for me to stay? Please don't judge, I just rlly want some help.

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